Friday, November 26, 2010

Thanks

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and of course I must do the obligatory thankfulness post. I'm thankful first and foremost for Jesus. I have my days that I'm totally in tune with what He wants, and days where I could care less, but I know always, ALWAYS, that he loves me more than anything and that makes me feel so special!

Right after Jesus, I'm thankful for my friends. These are a unique group of people who range from loud and outgoing to quiet and reserved. Some are mega smart and some are just normal (like me!). Some are ambitious, others are content. Some are artistic, others are athletic. Some are great at communicating, and some suck. But all of them make me the happiest girl ever. I know that I have several dozen people who honest to goodness care about my life and what direction it takes. I know there are at least a few who have the guts to stand up to me and challenge my beliefs, thoughts, and actions. And because of what God has done through them, I am a better person.

Also, I'm very thankful for the daily things we take for granted. Safety. Toilets. Heat. Water. Money. Good food. Computers. Internet. Pictures. Clothing. Movies. Coffee. Gloves. Soap.

And there is a category I wouldn't have mentioned last year--the police force. I am SO thankful for the wealth of information about not only the job I want to do, but also life in general that I have learned from being an Explorer, talking with officers, going to Academy, and riding with officers. Going to Academy was literally one of the most life-changing moments I've ever had. I know I can do whatever I set my mind to--whether I feel like it's possible or not.

Yay. Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The day before

Tomorrow at noon, my dad is picking me up for Thanksgiving break. YAY! Alex and Brittney left this afternoon, along with most of our podlings, I think. So Hollie and I decided to have dinner and watch a movie. It was funtastic. I love Hollie. She's like........well I don't know how to describe her, but she's awesome. She goes home on the weekends, so the entire time I've been here I haven't gotten to know her that well, but now that I am, I like what I know :)

It's just weird trying to pack to go back to my house and my empty room. This feels like home. And I know my empty room won't. But the plus side is that my extended family is coming over for Thanksgiving! YAY! And then I get to hang out with Jill. And I forgot the best part--MARS HILL ON SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a little excited :D

My goals for the week are to finish my reading and talk to Caroline. Because I miss her. And that's all folks! Next time I blog I'll be back on the hill!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

snow, snow, go away, come back after Wednesday

All of Washington has been getting snow. We've had snow several days. However, it's never stuck around like this before. I went to see the school's production of Urinetown (excellent, by the way) and when I came out, it was already sticking. I'm guessing we'll have an inch within the hour. The bummer would be that it's Sunday. So I'm supposed to go to church tonight and classes tomorrow and Tuesday. If it keeps snowing, I'm not going to be able to go to church because I walk and it's so cold and slippery. And walking to classes is just going to stink.

But I guess as long as it goes away so that I can go home for Thanksgiving, I'm ok.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Here I go again

Well hello. Sorry I've been gone so long--college is just THAT busy I guess!

I have to say that I love Ellensburg. I don't like some things about it, like that it's so small and that there really isn't anywhere to go shopping/there aren't a million Starbucks around, but I love the quaint college town feel. I love that you can drive from one side to the other in 5 minutes and that when it's snowing it looks like one of those perfect small towns in the movies.

Jill and Kirsten and Mary have all come to visit since the last time I posted. It's so funny to me because when I'm here, I feel like this is MY school. I've been here 2 months, and I feel like I've been here forever. Living in a dorm definitely has its downsides--including hearing EVERYTHING that goes on in the rooms around you. Sometimes it's hard because I would love to get to know people in other rooms, but I'm sooooo busy. But I've tried a little.

I've been on another ride with campus PD, and I'm going on another one after Thanksgiving break. Hopefully next quarter, when the work schedule changes, I'll be able to keep riding! The officers I've met are really great! We had some action on my last ride, and they just keep getting better :) Over winter break I'd love to ride with our officer advisor who was on maternity leave while I was in the post, and some of my TACs from Academy. Our advisor said the more departments I can ride with, the better....helps you get to know what you want to work with.

Classes are all pretty easy. I've written a million papers, but since writing has never been a problem for me, I don't mind. Next quarter I'll have more Law and Justice classes than Com classes, but I think that'll be fun! The only bummer is how crazy busy I'll be. But I found out that one of my friends from class this quarter will be in both my Com classes next quarter! Yay!

I'm definitely looking forward to having a break, though. Over Thanksgiving break, I'll have SO much to do! I'm going back on Weds afternoon/evening, Thursday we'll probably be at my grandma's, Friday I'm going Black Friday shopping with Jill (for my first time!), Sunday is church with Mary, seeing Em, and then Jill's for a fundraiser, and at some point I have to fit in editing a paper for a friend and going to Janda's raisers' house to show them what I have done for her scrapbook! Like I said, busy week!

I found a good church, and next quarter one of my podlings and I will be going to the campus ministry. Jesus has been so good, and is definitely working in my life. Especially in the little things like getting along with a co-worker I don't like. Someone once said pray that God will give you patience until he changes them, or that he will give them patience while he works on your heart. That's what I've been praying. I listen to the Mars Hill podcasts every day when I run, and they're just so good. And so convicting!

And now I am going to watch a movie and just enjoy being caught up in all my classes :)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

the ridealong and what happened after...

I haven't blogged in a while, sorry :(

Since I last posted, Jill came to visit for my birthday weekend. It was SO good to see her again! I was just like she'd never left. At least that's how I felt. She and Brittney and I went with my family to dinner. It was very very nummy. :)

I signed up to volunteer with ASPEN which is a battered women's shelter nearby.Volunteers basically go along and help be there for people in domestic violence, rape, assault, etc. cases. I figured that since I want to go into LE, it would be really helpful to know what the victims are dealing with and maybe know how to help them feel more comforted. So I start training for that on Monday. I have 2 weeks of training and then I can start shifts! My roomie is signing up to volunteer, too. If she passes her interview then we'll get to do it together.

Last night I went on a ridealong with campus PD. It was SO SO SO SO great! We had way more action than when I went on a ride back home. But the increased amount of activity was partly due to the fact that I rode 2200 to 0120. So of course, people are doing dumb things late at night in a college town. There was a situation that happened nearby where a bunch of freshmen were drugged at a party. (http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/10/09/hospitalized-washington-state-overdosing-unknown-substance/) I didn't realize how big of a deal it was until the officer I was riding with said that CWU PD was getting called to go help out, so he had to cut my ride short. But the awesome thing is I was listening to radio traffic and heard a lot of what was going on, so I know way more about it than any of my friends. But with the whole "confidentiality" thing I can't release details that haven't been in the news already.

The press has been all over our school, trying to get us to talk about it. Every dorm is actually having emergency meetings about the situation, briefing us on what they know, and asking us not to talk to the media. After dinner, we ran into two reporters who asked us our opinions on the whole thing and I tried to be really vague and make it clear that I didn't want to be on TV (one dude was carrying a camera). It's just a really sad situation. Really sad.

I don't really have any other news. I mean, stuff happens all the time but I can't remember most of it. lol.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I'm a Barbie girrl in a Barbie worrrld

It's probably time to write an update. The weekend starts on Friday morning for me. :D I don't have any classes at all on Friday and just work. I can't even tell you what I did. It was kind of just a chill day. Oh no wait. I spent a good hour working out, worked, and then hung out with Alex, Brittany, Katie, and Emily. We watched a movie...and then yesterday we walked around Eburg, got frozen yogurt, and watched another movie. :) Today we drove to Costco in Yakima and I got cookie dough and fruit snacks! (next on my list is a tray to bake my cookies on) I don't think we have any plans for tonight...probably just finish my reading that's due Tuesday. Maybe get dinner at some point. Been back in Galatians which is good. Kinda over my head some nights. But I'm looking forward to listening to Mark Driscoll's sermon online tonight.

Friday, September 24, 2010

We are wild and young/and we have just begun/slow it down/these should be the best days of your life

Today I laughed so hard that my abs hurt. They literally ached. That might be partially due to the fact that on Fridays I don't have any classes so I slept in late and spent an hour in the gym, but it also partially has to do with the fact that Alex, Brittney, and Katie are just fantastic. Alex is my roommate, Brittney is our suitemate (who was also a friend of Alex's from last year), and Katie is a friend of Brittney's from last year. Yeah, life in Eburg is slow. But it's kind of nice at the same time. We'll see if I still think that after the weekend lol.

Thursday night I visited Fuel which is the Campus Crusade ministry. It seemed nice enough..I've just been spoiled with the hardcore preaching at Mars Hill. I think I'll end up going back. It's the only campus group that doesn't meet on Tuesday nights and I have a class on Tuesday nights this quarter. I gave my name to the girl who's leading the women's Bible study in my hall so there's potential for good happenings. Now I just need to find a church.

Work sucks. I've never had a good boss in any of my regular jobs and this job is no different. Ok that's not true. Half of the time I have a good boss. I just get annoyed because first of all, I'm new. So don't get mad at me for standing around because I thought everything was done since you never taught me I had other jobs. Also, if you see me slacking when there is work I know that I need to do, then I'll accept a lecture. But when I'm actually working and you come over and give me a list of things to do like I'm just playing around....that just ticks me off. Especially since there are half a dozen other people around me who AREN'T doing their jobs. Finally, don't take life so seriously. We're college students. We're running a cafe. It's not the CIA, people's lives aren't compromised if I'm actually talking with my customers. But it's a job and LOTS of people around campus are looking for jobs so I feel blessed to have it.

And it was beautifully sunny this afternoon. I just adore most of the weather here. We'll have occasional sprinkles but it's still sunny while it's sprinkling. It was cloudy one day, but other than that I don't usually need a jacket during the afternoon.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Let the classes begin!!

Classes started today! I have an 8am class every day except Friday.....So far they're all great. I'll be writing a LOT of papers this quarter. Not a lot of crazy-big ones, but quite a few 1-page reading responses.

Still working on making friends. And still working on Skyping with Caroline. I think the worst part is when I'm walking down the mallway under all the beautiful trees and with the warm sun, and think "oh I should call Hannah and see if she wants to hangout tonight." :(

Monday, September 20, 2010

Here I am...

in my dorm room. I have everything totally set up, and I love it. All I need is food. But I'll get some tomorrow. It's a really nice room. Not super big, but it's not the closet that some of my friends had. My roommate is cool. She's been a big help, showing me around everywhere and answering a million and one questions. I still feel awkward, though, without any friends. I would trade the nice room to have friends right now. And I KNOW it takes time, so no one needs to tell me that. It's just annoying to have to go eat lunch alone. I actually just decided NOT to eat because I didn't want to eat alone. That's also partially why I'm getting more food to have in my room. And tomorrow I'm also getting milk so I can make coffee!! :)

I have no idea what's going on tonight. Since we're not a Freshman dorm, we don't really have all those "welcome weekend" activities. I'll probably just watch a movie. I had my first day of work today, too, and I'm just exhausted.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Tomorrow

I'm moving tomorrow. So today is crazy packing day. I might get to babysit this evening, which would be really great!! I've had a really fantastic week, though. Like yesterday I hung out with Mary and Abby. Afterwards, I went to Panera for lunch and saw Arielle and Mrs. Rivard and talked with them for a little while, too! AND it was my mom's birthday so we had the whole family go out to Red Robin. It was just a fun day.

Thursday night I started getting nervous...just about the details. Will I like my floor? Will my room be big enough? Will I make new friends quickly enough? Will someone show me how to get internet set up & how the cafeteria works? (Cause it's really wierd) There's just so much change. I'm really hoping that the transition will go smoothly....and the good thing is that I know everyone else in my dorm is making the same move. Although most of them are probably returning students. But whatever. That just means there'll be more people to help me out! :)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

9/14/10

When I talk in my room, I hear an echo. That's how empty it is. With Simba here, the days seem to fly by. That and I'm on the go a lot this week...I have somewhere to be every day except Saturday. And I have 3 books to read and 12 episodes of one of my favorite TV shows to watch before I head out. And that's about all I have to say.

Monday, September 13, 2010

It's so good to be alive in such a hazardous world/To be alive and see the victory unfurled

Today little guide dog puppy Simba came over for part of the week. He's a darling little 13-week-old black lab. All legs, big floppy ears, and he loves pouncing around the floor. Since he's just a baby we're not going many places with him. He's going to Starbucks with me when I hang out with Cortney today, and Tully's tomorrow when I hang out with Sam. Oh, and to Eburg on Weds for the job interview.

I also got to meet with a deputy at Sammamish Police Department to talk about starting an explorer post. She especially wanted to find out what we do exactly and what would be the selling points to get people interested in joining the post. I'm really excited for them! It'll be great to have a post on the plateau and hopefully it'll be some good competition for Redmond. I also offered to help out with mock scenes on the off-weeks if they'd like. So cool! It was fun just to talk through why I've loved being an Explorer. Like one of her questions is what was the biggest thing I've learned? I think it's just having that self confidence when you walk into a room that "I'm an officer so I'm not going to let you walk all over me." Sure, I'm not an officer yet but that's an attitude we're taught from day 1 because it can be hard to actually develop that strong presence. And learning to balance that with being a person who it's easy to talk to....I guess I just value myself more than I did before. That like I've said on here before about how I learned at Academy how to push yourself. Like I remember our 2nd night, we were all exhausted and had just gotten done with evening formation. After evening formation we went to TAC time where basically they could do whatever they wanted with us. We'd been running, doing 6-inch leg lifts, pushups, etc all day and then our TACs decided to take us on a run. We had no idea how far we were going to go, we just had to find some reserve of energy and go. And our head TAC led the run so he set a pretty quick pace. And we did even more PT after the little run.

6 days ladies and gentlemen.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Simon Says

raise your hand if you're leaving for school in 7 days! *hand shoots up* I had my last guide dog meeting today which was kind of sad. I mean, I know I'll be back for breaks but like Tracey said, life will never be the same again. So I keep getting more and more excited..especially as this is a real week of "lasts". Like tonight is the last Sunday night I'll be living in this house, sleeping in this bed.

But the evidence of God's grace I want to post about today is just my awesome friends. I have people in my life whom I know I can turn to about anything. I had a situation that really just sucks come up, and my tendency is to keep it to myself and hide the imperfections in my life. But I decided to reach out and tell Caroline about it, and I know that she cares. Jill is coming back soon (which means she'll be able to talk again and to come visit me at school!!!) and I've missed her lots. I'm taking a trip over to Eburg on Weds for a job interview, and Shannon and one of her friends will be coming along. And stuff like I have all these situations that come up that remind me of Explorers or Academy, and I can just text or message Jake and he always "gets" it. Not to mention that we've had some pretty great talks in general, too. Hannah is the nuttiest girl I know, but I absolutely adore the way she lives for Jesus in a down-to-earth way. This morning at church I was kind of feeling alone even though I was surrounded by people, and Emily J saw me, smiled, and waved, and a little while later Jill D poked me as I passed her in the communion line. I'm hanging out with Cortney for the first time in a LONG time, tomorrow and I can't wait to see her beautiful little face. She has this intensity and passion about life and living it well that I just adore. God has blessed me with some radically amazing people.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

come, come fallen ones/dance in the healing stream

It's early in the day, so there may be more evidences of God's grace that show up today, but this one is so exciting to me that I just had to post. I'm interviewing for a job on campus working in one of the little Cafes. From the phone conversation I had with the lady, it sounded to me like if I came in for the interview that I'll get the job. :) Sure, it's not the best job in the world and sure, I've done harder jobs. But at this point it's the fact that God may have provided me with a source of income--even if it's not the most fun, it makes me so joyful!

The deal with paying for college is that I have enough cash and scholarships to get me through winter quarter for sure, and maybe part of spring quarter. But with a job, I'm pretty sure that the rest of the funding will come in.

Thank you, Jesus.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Thursday, September 9, 2010

My community group has been God showing me his love and grace over and over. I'm sad to be leaving them--they even got me a cake. God bless, Redmond Ridge CG!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

11 days

This afternoon was my busiest day (so far) in September. I had lunch with Danielle, met up with my roommate, and then coffee with Hannah. It was all really great! I can't say I had a favorite out of the three. Danielle is just goofy and I think she brings out a side of me that rarely anyone ever gets to see. We had lunch at Panera and then went shopping for her new apartment at Target. I even convinced her to buy a very unnecessary but cute piggy bank which I named Gus. And for the rest of the time with her, Gus and I bonded. Let's just say that I don't think Danielle will ever be able to see Gus without thinking of me :)

It was awesome to meet Alex and apparently we're pretty similar! We have similar sleep schedules, similar values, and similar opinions on partying etc. She doesn't have a boyfriend and is excited that I'm bringing my espresso machine :) I just think we'll fit well together. The funniest thing is that she has black and purple colors to her stuff and I have black and lime green. So they'll compliment each other well. I'm just excited. She says she's the kind of person who loves having the room's door open so that people can stop by and hang out. I love her already.

And then there's Hannah. What can I say about Hannah? Well, anything I say will be taken the wrong way online, so let's just say that I like her very much and leave it at that.

I've decided to start packing up my stuff that I'm taking with me. And I should also probably start on washing all my clothes and stuff. Since I have brand new towels, sheets, etc. and most of it is colored, I figured I should wash them before I go so that the colors are all set when I get there. Like people keep telling me, it's an exciting time.

Evidences of God's grace: people that God put in my life and the ability to be much more open that I love Jesus--even with people I don't really know

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Redmond Explorers: "Born to lead!"

Last meeting with my wonderful post today. I will miss that group so so much. But I will see them in December :) I wanted to go on a ridealong with one of our advisors before I left, but she said she's not taking any right now so I'm going to see if I can get one with two of my TACs at Academy and have offered to give rides if I wanted.


I've been doing some online back-to-school clothes shopping! I haven't bought new clothes in...over a year. So it's fun!


Today God showed his grace and humor while I was driving home from Explorers. That's all I'm going to say.

Monday, September 6, 2010

I'd go the whole wide world just to find her

2 weeks left. 13 days actually. Lunch with Amanda and then hanging out with Miss Laura. Those are two lovely ladies. I made some of the most fantastic friends at Bear Creek. The thing I love about Laura is that she's just one of those people who you can talk to. And I love that she's insanely busy but she made time for me :)

Evidences of God's Grace today:

  • pecans
  • bright pink bike lock for school
  • grande toffee mocha
  • umbrellas in the rain
  • talking about Jesus with Laura


Love ya Laura!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

my name is graven on His hands

car rides with my big brother, Pastor Bill Clem, Mars Hill Church in Ballard, iced caramel macchiatos, straight hair, 3 year olds, Modest Mouse, not having to work.

thank you Jesus

Saturday, September 4, 2010

you could be happy, I hope you are, you make me happier than I've been by far

It's been a whirlwind of a week!!

  • See-ya-later dates started
  • Running regularly restarted
  • I put the wrong kind of dish soap into the dishwasher where I was babysiting and ended up with suds all over their hardwood floor
  • I spent some good time studying in Galatians and learning (again) about living a life wholly and completely for Jesus 
  • Listened to a convicting sermon about being on mission
  • Prepped my very last Toddler 3 lesson for church
  • Put internet on my phone
  • Saw my little brother get his Webelos uniform
  • Watched two friends begin their journey as a married couple
  • Got a voicemail from my lovey, Caroline
I have gotten out of the habit of posting evidences of God's grace so I'm going to do my best to post at least those every day.

Evidences of God's Grace in my life today--watching Mr. Jon Siek and Ms. Brandi Ferrell become Mr. and Mrs. Siek. Seeing the beauty in the creation of marriage and how wonderful love is when Jesus is at the center. I rode to the wedding with Heather and Patrick who have been married for a year or two and have a beautiful marriage. And at the wedding I saw Jason and Lindsay who have been married for about a year and are expecting their first baby in February. It makes me so excited to find the right guy, and is such a good reminder that love where Jesus is first is the best way to go.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Repentance, textbooks, and 16-passenger vans

We talked a lot about reaching out to non-Christians and sharing our faith with them today. When I was reading through the Radical Reformission by Mark Driscoll, this quote stuck out to me that came to mind when we were talking about being on mission in our areas:

As long as Christians fail to repent of self-righteousness, we will continue to speak of evangelism in terms such as outreach which implies we will not embrace lost people but will keep them at least an arm's length away...Repentance enables us to kneel humbly with fellow sinners at the foot of the cross so they can see Jesus without our pride rising up to encumber their view.

In other news, I ordered 2 of my textbooks today. This fall my classes will all be pretty sweet and I'm excited to get started!

I was thinking about Academy again, trying to keep memories fresh. And I was remembering the last day, Sunday, Graduation day, and we all woke up with this kind of "whatever" mood. Like what can they do to us today? Nothing we haven't done already. No one yelled at us in the mess hall, and I don't think I did any pushups all day. Instead, we all carpooled over to the rec center and practiced marching in to graduation and how the ceremony would go. Getting there was an adventure since we didn't have a Redmond officer to drive us. We ended up riding in vans with other posts and my van was crammed full of guys. There will probably 20 people in our 16 passenger van. But for some reason I managed to get put in the shot gun seat so I had it easy :) And on the ride over I had a great time talking to a deputy about why he joined a county department instead of city. He didn't have a reputation for being the easiest person to talk to so I was half scared to be stuck next to him the whole ride but he turned out to be pretty cool. Goes to show you can't believe everything you hear :)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Beginning of the End

I've started the process of saying goodbyes. :( It's funny because it's not really like they're actually goodbyes to me, it's more like we're just hanging out before I get ridiculously busy. But they ARE goodbyes. I am making a point of getting pictures with everyone so that I can re-do my photo collage with the people that I actually care about in this phase of my life, lol.

Last night we had an Explorer meeting and I really can't get over how much I will miss that group. It's only been a few months, but they've been amazing months. I'm wondering how possible it would be to get a post started in Eburg. Hmmmm....

Oh, and I'm studying Galatians right now. And it's pretty cool because I'm reading this commentary by Martin Luther and it talks about how we always need to remind ourselves about Christ's righteousness because we forget it way too easily. And that's so true! It's so easy to just follow the world's righteous standards, but it's good to keep renewing my mind.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

On Mission: CWU

Pastor Mark talked about being on mission in our communities today. It got me thinking about all the opportunities there will be at Central this fall. I mean, I'll be at a school full of people who don't know Jesus and are at a crucial point in their lives. I'm praying that there will be at least one other Christian brought into my life early on so that we can reach out to the people on campus together. But if not, I'm praying that I will have the boldness to just be open with people and not be afraid about talking about Jesus. I would love to get a mini-community group started there. I mean, I can't lead it unless it's just girls, but how great would it be to get a group of people to watch the sermons and talk about them? Or even just to have an on-campus Bible Study? I mean the opportunities are endless, and Jesus is putting me there. So I'm excited to be on mission at Central!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Academy Memories (part 2)

I was thinking about Academy again today. The very last day of actual work we were all kind of squirrely. We didn't have classes, we did have a lot of fun things to do, and no one was really making us do pushups for anything. So we went out to the lawn to study for our big final exam. Our TACs told us they really wanted the academic ribbon every day, even if we didn't win anything else. So the pressure was on us to score well on our final tests. We ended up settling into two different groups to study. One spent their entire time playing around, and then there were 4 or 5 of us who actually sat down and studied. Inbetween quizzing each other, though, we got some good talking in and it made me even sadder to leave my boys.

I started packing up my room yesterday. Not the stuff that I AM taking with me, just the stuff I won't need. I figure if I pack it up now then in these 3 final weeks I can make adjustments as needed. It's crazy weird though to see my walls almost bare and these three big boxes in the middle of my room :(

Monday, August 23, 2010

Academy Memories (part 1)

I don't really want to write a new post because I want Academy to be at the top forever. But since that's not practical, I'm writing something new! Yay me!

I've been house sitting for the last week, so I've been living out of  a duffel bag for 2 weeks. And it's SO nice to be at my house again! The funny thing is that while I was house sitting, I'd get these random feelings like I should be doing pushups. So I did. See, at Academy we would wake up, get ready for the day and get our rooms clean for inspection and then we'd run out to formation. After morning formation we'd go to breakfast. During meals, we would wait in line with our heads down, studying the previous day's class notes. If we were caught looking around, the TAC officers would yell at us, but at the same time if we were so oblivious that we missed a TAC officer trying to get through a line and neglected to yell "make a hole!" then we'd also get in huge trouble. At any point during the meal, if any Explorer in the room screwed something up--whether it was addressing an officer incorrectly or bumping in to a TAC--everyone would be on their faces doing pushups. Usually it was in sets of 10 but some mistakes REALLY made TACs mad... like if someone addressed a female officer as "sir" (an easy mistake to make when you spend most of the day saying 'yes sir') or if all the Explorers neglected to serve a TAC in a timely manner.

During the day, if we were inbetween classes and one of our TACs walked by and saw us talking at all, we'd be on our faces doing pushups. One day, one of our TACs saw us studying (or pretending to study) during our break and told us we studied too much. So he had us doing PT over the break. That's just how Academy went. If one of our four TACs thought we should be doing some sort of physical work, we did it. I'd say we did less PT because of mistakes that people made and more just because the TACs were bored :)

Twice during the week we got our guide-on (our platoon's flag) stolen and once someone got our mascot. We had to do crazy/dumb things to get them back. One time we sang "I'm a little teapot" (which our TACs lovingly recorded and put on Facebook), once we did "Party in the USA" complete with dance moves and hand motions, and once we surrounded a deputy (who got our flag) and made a kid in our group who looked like Justin Bieber sing the chorus of a JB song to her.

Good times. I'm trying to get out of the "I wish I was back at Academy" mindset, but it's hard. When we were there, if we did a good job we were rewarded. Some of us earned the respect of our TACs, and all of us definitely respected/feared them. It was kind of that perfect world where good triumphs over evil and although people are occasionally mean just for the heck of it, it was rarely ever personal. Most of it was just to break us down and build us back up as stronger people who worked together as a team. I decided life would be awesome if instead of parents, I could just have my TAC Officers fill the parental role :) (jk, I love my parents most of the time, too)

One more thing. I thought I'd explain the significance of the title of the post below this one. "If not now, then when? If not me, then who?" This was a quote that Officer H gave us on Friday of Academy. It kind of sums up the job of a police officer and it really stuck in my head. On Saturday we did mock scenes, the physical agility test, and shot at the range. Mock scenes are basically when we're given scenarios with actors who play out a scene that an officer might encounter and we have to react as an officer would (which is what the Apple Cup in May was, a bunch of scenes that we were graded on). The thing is, mock scenes kind of scare me because I'm afraid of doing something really wrong. So when we were at Apple Cup, I was really glad to have Tyler, my partner, take the lead officer role on almost all the scenes. At Academy, I had more experience than my partners so I agreed to take lead officer but it petrified me because if we screwed up it was my fault.

I remember SO clearly as we began our first scenario, a building search with a prospective burglary in progress, I stood outside of the door waiting to knock and announce and felt SO un-prepared. But that quote came to mind, if not now then when? If  I don't just do it now, when will I ever be ready to take on the challenge? If I'm not ready now, when will I ever be? I have the training, I just need to get in there and do it. If not me, then who? If I don't get in there and do this search, who will? I know I can do it because I am confident that this is a calling God has put on my life. And He will walk with me through everything I need to do. So if I don't do this job then who can I expect to do it? That quote will stick with me for the rest of my career, I'm sure.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

"If not now, then when? If not me, then who?"

Explorer Academy was last week. I can't explain exactly what I learned. It's like I'm a new person, and yet the same. When I put on my uniform now, I feel so much more respect for it and for the job that it signifies. I went to Academy to prove to myself that I have what it takes to make it through a week of hell. I came back wanting to do this job more than before.

My TACs (the officers who were in charge of our small groups) were unusually amazing. Deputy C, my main TAC, could be a real tough guy and pushed us physically and emotionally. I discovered I can go way farther than I ever thought I could. At the same time though, Deputy C really cared about each of us and wanted us to succeed. So did our other TACs. So my Basic Academy was different than most people's. Sure we worked hard, but we wanted to. We did our best to make our TACs proud, and they in turn didn't make us do pushups just for the heck of it.

Like I said before though I really can't put into words what I came away with. I value life more, I appreciate authority in a different way, I feel like many of my peers are just floating through life and wish they could experience Academy, too. And I respect the people who push themselves to achieve their personal best--no matter what the field.

Our platoon (16 of us) won the group academic award every day. We also did well at drill down (drill and ceremony competition) and Esprit de Corps (skits showing teamwork and spirit). At Academy graduation on Sunday, awards were handed out to individuals in Academics, Firearms, and Physical Agility as well as for the overall most well-rounded Explorer. I was shocked when I won 3rd place in Basic Academics, 3rd in Basic Female Physical Agility, and 1st in Basic Firearms. After graduation, when I said goodbye to all my TACs, my female TAC told me that in a few years she could see me doing her job. And that made the whole week worthwhile to me.

Monday, August 2, 2010

um...later

I haven't been that busy, and yet I find myself putting off the things I should be doing first. For instance, why is reading a spy novel and watching this week's episode of White Collar so much more important than sitting down and spending some time with Jesus? Answer= it's not. I think part of my problem is that when I'm watching a movie or reading a book, my brain gets to check out. When I'm hanging with friends, I'm just having fun. And spending time with Jesus is hard work because I'm always thinking. Still, I recognize that's not a good excuse, so I will push myself back into Exodus. (and don't tell me to read something else that I find more interesting, because Exodus has been one of the most interesting books I've read)

46 days till I leave for college. I am now Facebook friends with my roommate, and she seems normal enough :) No word on the job-front. I have an application to fill out for an on-campus job, but I don't want to be offered a job there before I get a chance to hear back from the other places I applied, so i'm going to wait a little while to turn it in.

I could keep blogging for hours about how much I miss Caroline and Jill, how sad I am that Jessie moved yesterday, and what the Explorer post is up to this week, but I think I'm going to actually sit down and read my Biblia.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Centraaaaaaaal!!!

Due to privacy stuff I'm not going to post my schedule on here, but if you want to know my classes, ask me. I have a very...interesting schedule. An early early class, an afternoon class, and night classes. I also turned in 3 resumes and had an interview while I was over there.

I also got my roommate assignment! I texted her and requested her on Facebook. She hasn't responded to any of it, so I'm hoping she's just on vacation or something. From the picture of fb and her info page, it looks like we'll get along just fine :)

Anyway, all things considered, I'm SO SO SO SO excited for school. Only a month and a half!!

Friday, July 23, 2010


Summer is all about spending time with the people who mean the world to you. At least that's what it's like in my life. This afternoon I was feeling rather blah, so I decided to hang out with my favorite Laura and one of our friends, Ari. There's something about laughing until your face hurts that just really makes a day good.

Earlier I was traveling Exodus with Moses, and I kept noticing how God would warn Pharaoh about a plague and Pharaoh would ignore him. Then God would send the plague, but keep the Isrealites from harm. How cool is that? Even when He was punishing Egypt, He still kept his people set apart and didn't force them to endure the punishment.

Tomorrow I'm going paintballing with some people from my old cg and a few from the new one. SOOOOOOOO excited. I haven't been paintballing in years.

Pop! goes the shoulder

During my nightly workout my lovely shoulder popped and I have no idea if it'll be fine for Academy. This will be interesting.

On another note, I have an amazing community group. We talked today about where we want to take our group as far as service goes, since we're so new. It looks like we all have a heart for youth and the young people of Redmond, so I'm excited to see how things develop within our group! I truly feel Jesus working in that group, and that's not something I can say often. The prayer time with Jessie and Emily (squared) was deep and we were all able to be very vulnerable and honest. I discovered that Emily J. is a lot more like me than I knew, and I like her very much.

For the few of you who know about it, my family crap has re-surfaced in full swing and I realized today how much genuine prayer will help in the situation. So please be in prayer for it.

Though dark my path and sad my lot, let me be still and murmur not, or breathe the prayer divinely taught, Thy will be done. 

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Mayhem in Seattle

So yesterday, Shannon and I went downtown for the day. We walked around Pike Place and stopped by the original Starbucks and shopped in the lovely shopping district for a while. Then we went to the Mariner's game aaaaand we lost of course. :) But we ended up missing our bus and being stuck downtown until 10:45pm. Shannon's family got really upset that she was in Seattle so late, but my parents were pretty chill about the whole thing. I mean, I'm a pretty observant and safe kid and our God is a protector. So we got home fine, but now we have a great story about the night we got stuck in Seattle. It was just another example of how I can stay extremely relaxed and calm even in crazy situations...always fun stuff.


This afternoon I had a lovely talk with one lady whom I love so very much. Every time I talk with her, I always go away wishing I could just be in the same room with her forever. Somehow, we have that mix between just having a great time, making fun of life, telling fantastic stories, spilling our guts, and sharing how Jesus is working in our hearts, minds, and lives. There are a very few people in this world I can say that about, and Caroline is one of them. <3

Now I'm going to continue my journey through Exodus. I've picked up something from my friend Jessie who is a newer Christian. When she reads the Old Testament, she sees a story of God's faithfulness in the lives of his people. I'm used to just reading the stories and picking out the lesson like any good Sunday School kid would do. Thanks to Jessie, I'm going to see how God's amazing plan and overarching power follows Moses and the Israelites as they leave Egypt.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

back off, please...I can handle it

So I've had this thought before, but I've never bothered to actually think it all the way through.

I was at an event with a mixed crowd, and one guy made some smart remark making fun of me. If you know me, you'd know that I was thinking up my response when another guy (that I don't know very well) jumped in and goes "hey, no making fun of my little sister" (referring to the fact that we're all brothers and sisters in Christ). I immediately bristled and said "hey hey, wait a minute. I can take care of myself, thank you very much." Then I sat there for a minute trying to figure out why it bothered me so much that this guy jumped in. And here's what I came up with.

I am all for the male leader, male protector model. HOWEVER, I don't want a guy protecting me who doesn't believe that I am a completely capable human being all on my own. If someone protects me because they don't want me to have to fight for myself, that's different than someone who thinks I can't fight for myself. My problem with the guy who jumped in is that he's never treated me as an equal--just as someone who needs to be watched out for as if I'm a china doll in the hands of a 2-year-old. I can respect a man if he respects me, too. I think this will be part of how I will be able to know very clearly if a man is supposed to be my future spouse. And I know it's possible.

Take my brother for instance. We grew up as equals. I mean sure, he's bigger, stronger, and faster than me but if it came down to a fight he would jump in because he loves me and would rather take the blows than have me go through it. Also take some of the Explorer guys that I work with or most of the men at my cg. If there were to be any kind of disagreement, I wouldn't have a problem with one of them stepping in for me because I know they respect me as a person. They know I'm capable of defending my honor but they'd rather do it for me.

This might make me a feminist, but I was thinking about it and I don't think it's against the Bible. Mars Hill likes to talk a lot about how in a marriage both people are equal, but the man needs to be the leader (because there can only be one leader). So I think it fits that the leader/protector role can come out of love and not out of responsibility or duty. I dunno maybe this doesn't make any sense to anyone who's not in my brain. But it always helps for me to write things out :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Ow

I went to the doctor for my annual check-up. (I haven't had an annual check up in 4 years) I highly dislike doctors. The office smells nasty--that super sterile smell that they try to cover up with spray stuff from a can. And then you sit and wait and they tell you you're not going to die any time soon...which they can't really know because THEY don't control it, God does. Anyway my doctor told me that my stupid shoulder problem is rotator cuff tendinitis. That's a verbose way of saying I have issues and should stop doing push-ups as soon as the shoulder starts hurting. I also got (a) shot in my shoulder, so now my left arm will be sore all day.

In other news, my ride-along yesterday was great. Got to see what being a Redmond cop is really like. I don't think I'm allowed to go into details, but the siren is loud, the car goes really fast, and after a few hours I didn't even feel the Kevlar vest. My officer advisor is a great guy, and it was cool to see him work. AND he said he's going to try and get me some time with the K-9 officer...which would be amazing.

That's about it. I finished reading James and decided to go read some stories, so now I'm discovering the ever-faithful God of Exodus.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Today I get to have a ride-along with my officer advisor. Heh heh. I'm super excited, but super nervous. It'll be 10 hours (2-midnight) of seeing what a real shift is like. Ayeayeaye.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Sunburns, sweat, and silliness

Ok, I suck at updating. Let's see...it's been absolutely lovely weather this past week! A few days in the 80s, a few days in the 90s, I love it! Part of the fun of not having a job is the ability to just grab a book, lay out in the sun, and read. Right now I'm at about my half-way point. Meaning that half of my summer is over. Once it becomes August, I'll stop applying for jobs because it won't be worth my time anymore...I'd spend too much time training and not enough time working.

Thursday I met with the people at the church where I'm directing the drama portion of their VBS. It sounds like it'll be a good week...I've missed playing with kids all summer! That afternoon I helped with the SWAT training for RPD which was a little slow at first, but once we started enacting scenarios, it was much more fun. I got carried out by SWAT once, and got to see how long it would take them to find me many times. They're amazing, and I feel very very safe having been a part of that!

On Friday Sam, Janda, and I trekked into Seattle and hung out in the U-district. I love Sam. And Sam loves Janda. So it was a good day.


I was going to go to a concert that night but it was too hot, and in a kind of sketchy part of Seattle, so I decided to take Janda home early. I love that dog.

Saturday allll day I worked security at Derby Days with the Explorer post. Those are the greatest kids. First I was directing traffic and answering dumb parking questions and then I got moved to the race track. We were supposed to make sure no one crossed the track while the bikers were racing, and we didn't have any problems. So I ended up just talking with Jake for a while. He's a cool kid. I know I'm not that much older than most of them, but I still feel like they're "my boys".

After 14 hours in uniform, and a really great sunburn on my face, I got to hang out with some of the cg girls, and then sleeeeeeeep.

Sunday Sutter left for guide dog training. Super sad. But it made me realize that I really want another puppy. So I e-mailed the disability people at Central, trying to make my case for why they should make me an exception and let me raise a puppy on campus. So we'll see how that goes.

Applied for a few more jobs today, went on a 3-mile run, bought my bedding set for school, shopped for shorts with Small, and bought smoothies at Tully's with Small.

It's been a good summer.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Sue Lombard Hall

That's the name of the place where I'll be living the next year. Yessss

Friday, July 2, 2010

Baby Bean

I found this video of when the Bean was just a little pupster. We were out at church, and Janda needed to eat, so we took her to the parking lot and she ate!! :) She was probably.....13 or 14 weeks old in this video (yes, I did say WEEKS)

video

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

And I'm just trying to love you, in any way that I can

Spent the evening with my little bro. He drives me NUTS sometimes, but he's still an okay kid and an ever-ready companion. For instance, I decided that my car was looking a little sad and dusty so it needed to be washed! Small was more than eager to help me wash it if it meant getting to play with the hose. Then we watched Pirates of the Caribbean (the last spelling bee I ever participated in, I got out because of the word Caribbean. I've been able to spell it fine ever since) and ate popcorn with butter on it--inspired by Jill.

Tomorrow will be a long, but hopefully fun, day. Making brownies in the morning followed by a meeting with Kirsten's new boyfriend, a walk with Nicole, and coffee with Jess...all in 5 hours. Then will be our last ever meeting as one big community group--so we're having a BBQ at Hannah's. After this week, we're splitting in half. Hugely sad, but I have confidence that God will grow each of our groups to be unique and a huge blessing to its community. I'm excited to see how we grow in these next 3 months.

Thinking of college, I found out my orientation date is July 28th. SUPER excited and a little nervous. At orientation I'll get to meet with academic advisors in both of my departments, get my picture taken for the ID card, and find out my dorm assignment. Afterwards, I'm planning on hunting down the local restaurants and finding out if they're hiring for the school year. If the Ellensburg PD gets back to me, I might have to meet with someone there to find out about volunteering, too. So like I said, super exciting but kind of nerve-wracking....hoping I get everything done that needs to get done, etc.

Oh, and I've been doing a little bit of reading these days. The first book I've gotten to dig in to is
I've started the book of James and have been trying a different approach with reading my Bible. I get a lot of application out of it, but it's easy for me to forget the "application" 3 weeks later. So I'm trying to read it just to get a better picture of Jesus and look more for the attributes of God. When I was in James 2, the section on partiality jumped out at me. The fact that we shouldn't pick favorites because someone is popular--that's in the Bible. Ugh. So convicting.

Second book I've been reading is

Yes, Radical Reformission by Mr. Driscoll. Last chapter I read was on how important it is to engage the culture without becoming just like it. What is frustrating to me is if you're living in a way that's relateable to the average person, why would they ask you about Jesus? I guess if you give Him glory for all the good in your life....but I've been a re-focused Christian for 2 years and no one has asked me about God. Fail.

Third book (and one I highly recommend if you like suspense/action novels) is
Separation of Power from Vince Flynn's collection of super amazing books. I don't want to give away too much plot, but they're political thrillers... plenty of assassinations and assassins involved.

That's a snippet for the day. Have a lovely Thursday y'all.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

wise words to live by

My God, my Father while I stray
Far from my home on life's rough way
Oh, teach me from my heart to say
Thy will be done.

Though dark my path and sad my lot
Let me be still and murmur not
Or breathe the prayer divinely taught
Thy will be done.

But if my fainting heart be blessed
With the Holy Spirit for its guest
My God to Thee I leave the rest
Thy will be done.

If Thou should call me to resign
What most I prize never was mine
I only yield Thee what is Thine
Thy will be done.

And when on earth I breathe no more
The prayer with tears was mixed before
I'll sing upon that joyful shore
Thy will be done!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Tomorrow is in Your hands, help me live today

This weekend I will have spent 4 days with the same people...good thing I like them a lot! Thurs night was community group, as normal. Last night I got to go to prayer night at Heather's parents' house (complete with bonfire, yes that was fun!). Today, the cg is going camping for the weekend. I'm teaching T3 tomorrow morning, so I can't stay the night but Aaron and Jessie are going down for the day, so they're going to pick me up so I can gallivant around the campground with them! There will be a certain fun event going on there that I really can't blog about, but you'll have to text or message me on Facebook or something if you want to know details. Just know it's going to be a-mazing! And then tomorrow is church, as always!

I've been kind of "off" emotionally this whole week. I think it's partially due to the thing with my mom, and just being relied on for EVERYTHING. I am working on repenting of this attitude I have about how it's not fair that I'm stuck at home doing all the chores and responding to "Anna, can you help me do....." every 5 minutes. My mom has been a huge help my entire life, the least I can do is run errands for her, do her laundry, and help with the little things that are impossible to do one-handed. So if you want to pray for our family, pray that we will have patience for the results coming back and that I will have a joyful heart as I get to help out these two weeks.

I finished Hebrews on Wednesday, so I decided to just continue on and go through James. I ran into a section talking about temptation that made me think a bit. It says "let no one say when he is tempted 'I am being tempted by God,' for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." (James 1:13-15 ESV)

I think what I had to figure out in this is when crappy situations happen, my response is usually "oh, God is teaching me something." Or like "God is teaching me to save money when I am driving and decide I need a Chipotle burrito." Skewed theology right there. Part of God's character is that he absolutely cannot tempt me to sin. If I want to sin, it's all in MY head. So when things come up that are tempting, it's not God putting those in my path. It's my sin-nature telling me I want something. I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone but me. :)

Oh! Oh! P.S. I discovered that there is a Mars Hill Music podcast on iTunes. BRILLIANT.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Of gravel and suburns

I shoveled a million tons of gravel today. It was all good, though, because I was doing it with 3 of my super amazing Explorer friends. Even the most tedious and frustrating work can be fun when there are 2 or 3 guys laughing at you! (or your inability to get the heavy wheelbarrow full of gravel up the super steep ramp) It was a lovely way to spend the glorious sunshiney day! Even though I wish I would have worn shorts, not jeans and layered shirts.

My mom is doing well after her surgery, thanks for everyone's prayers. She's always been a trooper and even made it to community group tonight.

Hopefully tomorrow will be as glorious as today. But I doubt it. Probably rain or overcast-ness. Oh well, there won't be anyone for me to spend it with anyway. Starting tomorrow, I'm the official babysitter/chauffeur for my little brother and mom until her hand heals. It will be an interesting week.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Domesticity

Today I played 'house'. My mom went in for surgery super early this morning so yours truly stayed home and watched the Small monster. (i.e. Daniel) It's also my first week off from school! So, 9am rolled around, and the beast was hungry. So big sister Anna made french toast. It went as well as can be expected. I remembered to feed him his vitamins and even made syrup!

On Mondays, he gets to play an hour on the computer or the Xbox, so after breakfast he played and I cleaned up from breakfast and got to play around on my computer for a little while. Then we went on a 6-mile bike ride. It was really fun! Except for the super mega hill that leads up to our house on the way back....Favorite moment was when one lady stopped us and goes "are you our new neighbors?" and I said "I don't think so!" And then the lady responds, "Oh, because a boy and his mom who look like you guys moved in down the road." Yeah...I'm really not old enough to be Daniel's mom....but that's okay!


Then we got to see Toy Story 3! It was a really well done movie. Yeah, I'll admit I even got a little scared in one scene! Ran a few errands for my mom and mailed Jill's package, and then headed home. The entire day, Daniel talked and talked and talked. If you haven't met Small, you wouldn't know this, but he doesn't shut up. Ever. So by the time I'm driving home, I have a bit of a headache and really just want to go curl up in bed. But NO, I know my mom won't be up for cleaning once she gets home, so I clean the bathroom and kitchen. 

One of the wonderful families from our church brought us dinner! So fortunately, I didn't have to create something. It was delicious homemade macaroni and cheese that Daniel swore he wouldn't like, but sheepishly asked for seconds after he actually tasted it. THEN, we ran up to the store and got some flowers for my mom. Came back and Daniel put one of the bunches of flowers in my mom's room for her. He really has a sweet heart even if he can't control his mouth. 

I got to put the remaining flowers together in 2 bouquets (which is one girly thing I CAN do!) and then loaded the dishwasher and started it up. So now, the kitchen and bathroom are clean, Small is out playing with the neighbor, the house smells like roses, and I get a full 30 minutes to spend with just my Bible and my blog...and eventually a latte. 

Let me tell you, I'm in no hurry to have this kind of responsibility. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to be a wife and a mom! But after a day like this, I'm just exhausted. Add to that the emotional factors of everything that's been going on...it's an interesting time in my life right now. And I'm so thankful for it!

So now, I'm going to spend my remaining 15 minutes in Hebrews 12.....and the section heading that I saw first when glancing at the page is "Do Not Grow Weary". Again, good timing.

Friday, June 18, 2010

500 miles

And I would walk 500 miles/and I would walk 500 more/just to be the man who walks 1000 miles/to fall down at your door.

Last day of school today. I miss Caroline a lot. (and I agree, Caro, at some point we really should live in the same time zone) I feel like my summer is a completely clean white board with nothing written on it yet. It's kind of exciting, but kind of scary because I always like to have things planned out. So when I was reading Hebrews 11 (the chapter on faith) it was rather convenient timing. It talked about all the Biblical "heroes of faith" and what made them so great. And then it talked about how all of these people lived in view of eternity and of what will come when they go to be with Jesus instead of focusing on this world. Yeah, that's a good lesson, and very good timing.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Hebrews 9-10

AAAAAAAA!!! Guess what? I love reading my Bible!!!!!! I love reading it just to read it, and not because I "have to" or "need to study it". Just reading it without trying to pull out a life application. Hebrews is perfect for that. I'm blown away by how truly awesome the whole redemption story is. Hebrews 9 and 10 have been today's section...they compare and contrast the old covenant to the new covenant, and it makes so much sense!

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23 and
"But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls." Hebrews 10:39

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Last Finals

Last Finals seems redundant. But, it's my last 3 days of finals ever at BCC. Tomorrow I have a 7:30am Oceanography final and an 11:30am drama final. The oceanography one will be hard because it's both a ton of questions over this past section AND cumulative.

Thursday I have the singing finals, and Friday I have my business final. That's it! Tomorrow I'm going to spend some time in Hebrews :)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Work

I no longer have a job. My boss informed me today that the restaurant has been bought by someone, and that today was our last day ever. Now I have to stress over finding a new job. Half of me is very concerned, and half of me knows that Jesus will provide--he always has.

It's just the practical things I'm worrying about. Like my pledge for the building fund that I'm turning in to Mars Hill Bellevue tomorrow...I no longer have an income to supply that money but I feel like I should still pledge the same amount and be confident that God will provide it. It's all HIS money anyway....even if I don't get a new job to pay for it, I can just dip into savings. No matter what, I'm just trying to be at peace. But I'll miss my old job so much.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

End In Sight

I will never ever again write a paper for Bellevue College. Ever.

It's pretty smooth sailing from here--2 labs, 2 final tests, and 2 final presentations and I'm done by the 18th. Thank you, God. Literally.

I had a lovely dinner with my little sis. I feel better about her dating this boy, but worse at the same time. I'm just looking forward to having a talk with him because I feel like that determines my view of the whole relationship. I think K is coming from the right point of view, but she just needs to be careful. So after finals, K and S and I will hang out and then S and I will have a "talk" (during which I will find out if he's worthy of dating my little sister) and then I'll head off to Central.

It was funny because K and I were talking about how we should totally do a double date.....the problem being I don't have any guys I'm comfortable enough with to ask them to be my "date". lol. *sigh*

P.s. I'm slacking off in reading my Bible again. I'm still talking with Jesus and listening to sermons, but just not reading. I should get on that.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Zeke

My parents' community group leaders, Sam and Jackie, lost their 6 month old baby (Zeke) today. He just all of a sudden stopped breathing. Please pray for them and their kids Sam (7ish), Annabelle (5ish), and Eden (2ish)

Monday, June 7, 2010

What I've learned from college

Looking back on the year it's been since I graduated, I can't believe how much has happened. I peeked into some of the stuff I wrote back then for bios, etc. and half wanted to laugh, half wanted to cry. How do you tell a newly graduated senior that their life has so radically changed? It's not something you'll believe if I tell you...you have to experience it for yourself. But here's a few off the top of my head (thanks Emily for making me write this):

SCHOOL

  • never underestimate the power of exercise and eating healthfully--not only will it keep off the Freshman 15, it also keeps you from getting sick. And getting sick while in college is your worst enemy.
  • professors are there to help you--they're scary at first but don't be intimidated or too proud to ask for help. I learned that the hard way.
  • it never hurts to ask--if you think you received an unfair grade on something, ask if you can re-do it! Chances are they'll be surprised that you care so much and say yes!
  • take it seriously--you only have one shot.
FRIENDS
  • you will lose friends. Especially as everyone heads different ways. It will be heartbreaking. I have cried harder over losing friends than anything else this past year. But there will be new friends, so don't worry. really.
  • friends do dumb things. Like sometimes they date dumb boys. Often, they date dumb boys. Don't relax your standards for the guys your friends date. But love them just the same.
  • Skype is your new best friend.
  • stay in community with good, strong Christians.
  • make an effort to stay in contact with old friends. Even if they don't care about you anymore.
  • make friends with people who you would never normally associate with. You will learn the most from them.
LIFE
  • figuring out the delicate balance between how much your parents need to know and how much privacy to maintain is super hard, but super important
  • you don't need a boyfriend. Really. I know it's hard to believe, but I've made it. (and I'm only partially broken and bruised so, ya know...)
  • career plans change. Just go with it.
  • related to that, don't get stuck in a major. Just because you've done theater your whole life doesn't mean you NEED to major in theater. I learned that the hard way.
  • Take as many opportunities as possible to try things and branch out. Especially the ones that scare you.
  • Actively look for what God wants for your life. In the big, the little, who you need to tell about Jesus, what you need to cut out of your schedule, how often you should go to church events, all of it.
  • get a job.
  • it's okay to cry. Yes, it took me until my Sophomore year of college to learn that lesson well.
  • whatever you do, don't compromise your standards. If you give in once, you will regret it.
If nothing else, know that you will get busy. But the one thing that you CAN NOT drop when your schedule starts filling up is spending time with Jesus. I am still fighting with this one. 

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Educated beyond intelligence

I'm not going to lie: today hasn't been a great day. This hasn't been a great week. Not to say today was an awful day, it just wasn't the best. I have this massive group project that's half due tomorrow. I've done SO much work on it, we'd better get a good grade!! I feel like everyone helped out and then left me to finish it off. *sigh* so I'm exhausted and will feel 76% better once the paper is turned in tomorrow.

On another note, my old geology prof came in to the restaurant today. She comes in frequently and we always have a good chat. She's so much more of a friend and less of a prof now. Another happy thing is that I'm done with school on the 18th. Unfortunately, I have a TON of stuff to do between now and then, but it's half a month away! I also re-did a paper which I think I received an unfair grade on, and changed my grade from a C- to an A-!! I also wrote a star paper on the Arizona SB 1070 law, and I'm very proud of it. :)

So in the next 2 weeks I have 2 more papers, 2 finals, 1 group project presentation, 2 final performance presentations, 4 nights of work, along with working as traffic control for Duvall Days with the Explorer post, an Explorer meeting, watching Iron Man 2 with Kalee, lunch with Jessie, some sort of meal with Kirsten, at least lunch but probably more with Emily, an Oceanography field trip to Alki Beach, all-Saturday voice rehearsal, a guide dog meeting, community group, children's ministry chaos Sunday, and a scholarship luncheon. So if I neglect to contact you, or seem to vanish off the face of the earth, this is why. *snore*

P.S. you guys suck at reminding me to read my Bible.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Tell the ones that need to know/ we are headed north

I'm going on record for saying that I really don't care about school anymore. Yes, I have a ton left to do, but I don't care. I very much dislike that teachers save all the big projects and papers for the end of the quarter. One would think that if they were smart, they would get the big stuff out of the way first, when students are eager to do well and profs have time to grade well.

Hebrews 2 is all about the miracle of salvation and why Jesus worked as the ultimate sacrifice. He's also the ultimate comforter because he's been human and knows what it feels like to go through crappy situations. On the other hand, he also knows what it feels like to have a wonderful day. So having human experience under his belt makes it easier for me to understand that he gets my frustration and pain and happiness.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Begin: Hebrews

I decided that I'm going to start reading through Hebrews. This may not be a good idea as Pastor Mark is going through Luke and I've (occasionally) been listening to the sermon series through Ecclesiastes, but I haven't read Hebrews in a while, so I think I'll camp out for now.

I have 2.5 weeks left of school. In those 2.5 weeks, I have 3 papers,a group presentation, and several finals. I'm really not looking forward to these next few weeks. After finals crap is over with, I have to set up some academic advising appointments at CWU for next fall, talk with the Ellensburg PD and see if I can work with them in any way, and just start an overall de-stress from these last 2 death quarters. I have books to read, people's boyfriends to meet, a curriculum to set up, and a few Explorer events mixed in. Oh, can't forget the lunch dates that will happen now that Emily lives close and Mary is out of school. I've also started to get back into the running routine which is good, but painful. 

Talking about Hebrews, even the first chapter is "woah" material. It lays out some of Jesus' credentials. 
Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs.
 Daaaang. I mean, I'd be happy to be as cool as an angel, but Jesus is so much higher than the angels!?!?!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Today I want to see God's beauty in everything....

Although I had major traffic, I was only 5 minutes late to class.

The green of the trees surrounding campus is so vibrant.

I remembered everything I needed to bring today.

There are people in my life whom I care about very very deeply. And (in most cases) that feeling is returned.

I get to act for 2 hours.



"for in you my soul takes refuge, in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge."--Psalm 57:1

Monday, May 24, 2010

Life 5/24/10

Apple Cup was amazingly fun. My partner and I and another team from our post placed 2nd in one of the scenarios! I'm also ridiculously glad I didn't have to do the PT test because of my stupid shoulder. The post is an absolutely amazing group of people. Our Captain, the other girl, is awesome. I got to know her a little better and she's just amazing. That's all I can say. My partner, Tyler, put up with SO much and he's fantastic. I really don't know what I would have done without him. The other guys are pretty much the best, too. Ahhhh it was a great weekend.

In other news, I've really been slacking on spending time in my Biblia. I don't feel as whole or refreshed without it, but I just haven't found the time. This week I added time to run, so I need to re-add that time with Jesus. Somebody remind me about that slash bug me if I don't. Please.

Need to do homework that's due at 7:30am tomorrow.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Apple Cup

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I'm heading to the Explorer Apple Cup. Basically, we're participating in a ton of mock police scenes. We've been practicing quite a bit this week and last week, but I'm still so so nervous. I really want to go in, simply to have fun. But I'm sure THAT won't happen...I'm way too competitive.

So I'm not going to be posting on here or Facebook for the weekend. 0_o

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Changed By Jesus--Mars Hill's impact on my life

The Bellevue campus sent out a message to its attendees asking for stories of how Mars Hill has changed people's lives. I didn't intend to send anything in because I'm such a boring, blah, normal person. But I realized that many people probably don't send in their stories for the same reason. And yes, Mars Hill has radically changed my life, so I thought it'd be a good exercise for me to look at how--even if I don't end up sending it in.

I've grown up as a church kid. From a very early age I've heard about Jesus and how being good makes God happy. Even as a college sophomore, I've never had alcohol, never done drugs, never slept around, and never done "bad" things in general. I think my relationship with Jesus became real when I was a high school Sophomore, but I knew very little about His true character. Every day I fell into the "if I'm good, God will love me" lie and was overwhelmed by guilt and a sense of being trapped.

Two years ago my family started attending Mars Hill Eastside. Resisting change, I drug my feet and tried to make every Sunday as miserable as possible. I complained about the coffee, the music, and how no one talked to me. Last July I decided to try a community group. At first I was overwhelmed by the 14 guys and only 4 girls. However, for some reason I came back again and again. My cg leader has a story pretty similar to mine. He challenged me to step out of my initial "church kid" response to everything and to see a different Jesus than I was used to.

When I did, I discovered that I had a relationship with Jesus that was driven by a desire to do things instead of a fear for the consequences. I discovered a desire to serve that didn't come naturally before. I discovered that sharing Jesus with my friends doesn't have to be a theological discussion...it can be a Facebook status. I learned about showing grace. I learned how to study my Bible. And last, but not least, I learned how to forgive the deep pain and anger from my past. 

My community group has been a huge influence on my life. Some of the people in that group make sure I don't fall back into the "church kid" pattern. My cg leader's wife is an amazing example of a godly woman and I have learned so much from just watching her. And through these people I'm seeing how to legitimately pray and live my life in view of the fact that it really IS all about Jesus..instead of just saying it is. I'm finally understanding what my youth pastor was saying when he said "being a Christian shouldn't be part of your biography: I'm a dancer, actor, Christian, and waitress. It should BE your biography."

I could go on and on about the preaching and how I've seen God work in miraculous ways in my life since I've come to Mars Hill, but it's really the people doing life with me that have changed everything.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Seeking Summer

I'm in the middle of my quarter. The majority of my friends are at school with me, but there are a ton of good friends who aren't. Those who aren't at BCC are done with school for the year. Pretty much all of them. Now I know they started earlier, I know that in my head. But it doesn't make it any easier when you're sitting on Facebook reading status updates and more than half of them are about how great it is to be out of school. What DOES help is when those friends take the time to ask how school is going for me, and not accepting a general/broad "it's ok."

You see, the sun is glorious. And it's shining outside my window. And its days like today that I marvel in the pure beauty of our great God. I can see tall, powerful evergreen trees. Delicate, lavender blossoms. Intense, clear sky. And I think about the cool, sea wind of the Seattle waterfront. And it's beautiful.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Running Just to Catch Myself


Alright, so I'm not going to rant. BUT, I got a C- on my first research paper in my class. I think I deserved a much higher grade for many reasons. One of them is that she never provided us with any kind of grading criteria. So how was I to know what she was looking for?


Tomorrow I'm going to talk with her and see if I can get more specific criterion for this next paper and also see if I can re-do the paper for credit. Dude. I'm an honors English student. I can write good papers. Ug.

In other news, I'm learning about peace...again. I'm still stressing about the competition next weekend. Officer G told our Captain to practice a lot with us, but with the honor guard taking priority. To be honest, I'd much rather spend time working mock scenes than drilling with the flags. So that verse "be anxious for nothing" keeps running through my head. EVERY morning I wake up nervous. EVERY afternoon I look at my uniform and my stomach turns.

be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God


On yet ANOTHER note, "Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope."  ~Josh Billings



Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Humility. Respect.

Humility. I've talked about it before, but I'm learning about it in a whole new way.

I've been mentally struggling with the fact that out of the 5 people that showed up to practice for the 4 person honor guard, *I* was the one chosen as the alternate. I had my reasons for why I think I would be better, and I told a few close friends but you know, sometimes it's just good to be back-up...not always front and center. Today it turns out my dedication to the team--even though I was the alternate--has paid off and I'll be part of the legit honor guard. When I found out, I just got blown away by this. It's a huge evidence of God's grace and now I'm very excited.

Also, things are just different when you're on the bottom of the totem pole. These days in our society, people are so very casual. Especially in Seattle. But working in the PD, you have to be so so very respectful. When we're talking to someone of high rank, we have to stand at attention. When talking to any officer at all, it's always "yes sir" "no sir". Respect. And they definitely deserve the respect. Both our officer advisor and the lieutenant who helped us out today have been doing this for years and years and are amazing officers.

On a non-character related note, I'm having an awesome time working with the Explorers (RPDE). Every time we learn something new or run something, I keep thinking "yes, this is what I want to do with my life."

Sunday, May 9, 2010

"Live in a big, bold way....with humility"--Pastor Mark

This will be the struggle of my life.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Drill and Ceremony

Yesterday was just an average day, doing average things. I went to the shoe store to try to find new shoes for my Explorer uniform. While I was there, I got a call from our Explorer Chief. She wanted to know if I could make it over to the station that night for honor guard training. The post is doing the flag presentation for somebody in a few weeks, and they needed an alternate in case someone got sick. So I spent 2.5 hours learning drill and ceremony. It was an amazing time!

At first, I confess, I was bored. For the first half hour, we watched the primary team train. THEN, it was our turn! Amazing. That's the only way I can think of to describe it. Hard. That's the other word. We learned commands and techniques to present the rifles, march with the rifles, stand at attention with the rifles, shoulder the rifles, and a bunch of drill commands. Everything is so specific and sharp. I mean, when you turn 90 degrees, standing in place, it's a 2-step process. First, you pivot, then you snap your feet together. It's like that for everything. You do everything in steps and they all have to be very precise.

One of the girls from the Civil Air Patrol (who was training us) mentioned that I should join CAP because I was picking up D&C so quickly. I think it has to do with dance training. Just being very aware of every small movement that your body is making and doing things with careful precision.

Anyway, it was a great great experience. I mean, a whole day later I'm still going over different maneuvers in my head :) I'm SO glad I'm working with the Explorers. I'm still petrified of this competition that I'm going to in 2 weeks, but it'll be a great experience. I just need to get the Explorer/police mentality engrained in me, and then I think everything will come easier.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Blessings here, blessings there

blessings here, blessing there, God sends blessings everywhere!

Man, from having Janda again to my uniform pants "just happening" to be in stock at the store, God blesses me all over the place.

Tonight I half trained a new server at work and we just had a fantastic time. I don't know how to explain it, but I have this incredible peace about life that can't be shaken. Not even with the paper due at 7:30am tomorrow morning or the friends who aren't being friendly. What's weird to me is that I keep forgetting to spend time with Jesus. I know that sounds awful but it has somehow slipped out of my routine. And yet I'm still in love with Jesus--even though I'm not thinking about Him as often as I should be. And there's still that crazy peace blanketing my life. And I'm so thankful for it.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

May 2nd, 2010

  • extended night of worship
  • 3 year olds. seriously.
  • meeting Bellevue Police officers at Chipotle
  • community
  • being challenged in my complacency 
  • flowers from Caleb
  • grande skinny vanilla latte
  • Jessie 
  • hugs from Emily J without any explanation
  • realizing that compared to Jesus, I'm pretty pathetic
  • prayer
All evidences of God's grace in my life...all happened today.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

don't

There is so much that can't be shared on here since this is public domain. Ugh. But I think over all, the word that describes my past week(end) is "don't". Don't get distracted. Don't get nervous. Don't let your temper flare. Don't back down. Don't rush. Don't despair. Don't forget to forgive. Don't spend money. Don't sleep. Don't put off reading my Bible. 


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

On humor and hatred

I spent the afternoon studying with two old friends. We've known each other since we were in junior high at least, and have kind of kept in touch. The two of them have remained really good friends and have that bond you only get with your best friend. I'm sure it's how Jill and I are when we're in the same room. But the one girl I didn't know as well has never liked me, and I've never really liked her. After not seeing her for a year, I figured why not start over? So I thought everything was going fine, but then our mutual friend told me the other girl still thinks I'm a mean, selfish person.

Apparently it came down to the fact that I'm sarcastic and have a very peculiar sense of humor around people I'm comfortable with. Most of my friends know that when I'm making fun of them, I'm really not serious. If I really get mad or think something that's not nice, I'll hold it inside and be extra sweet. So when I found out this other girl STILL doesn't like me, I was half incredulous and half upset. I don't see that I'm in the wrong at all! Really, she needs to get used to the fact that other people have different styles of humor than her. *sigh*

But Jesus is teaching me humility and I apologized to her for coming across as an arrogant jerk. I tried my best not to explain it away and instead, try to show her I love her as a sister in Christ. So our study sesh today was kind of an experiment for me. And we had a fantastic time.

Now, I'm hoping she'll let me know if she gets upset by something I say. And I'm also trying to keep my more "undecipherable" humor in check.

Ahhhhhhh life.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

And He walks with me, and He talks with me

Had a little chat with Jesus this morning. I have been so exhausted recently that I decided to stay home from the early service and go the the 5pm tonight. While my family was gone at service, I spent some time out on the swing in the back yard, just praising Jesus and meditating on some verses. I read Zechariah 7 and came away with some interesting thoughts.

First of all, it talked about the city's heart motive. Sure, they'd been fasting and praying but it wasn't for God it was because they felt like the had to. That struck me. I do that frequently. I've been afraid of people judging me for my faith for so long that I've swung to the opposite end of things. Now, I'll read my Bible in public but not to learn from it, just so people can see that I am reading my Bible and that I love God. In a way, it's better to read in a hidden corner and learn something from Jesus than it is to read in public and feel good that I'm a "witness".

The chapter went on to talk about justice which is, of course, very near and dear to my heart. I started thinking again about Micah 6:8 and realized something.

In Micah 6:8, we are told to "do justly AND love mercy". By very definition, these things seem like opposites. Justice is people getting what they deserve and mercy is abstaining from punishing someone for something they deserve. So I'm still thinking about how these two can live in conjunction with eachother. That's what I'll be thinking about this week. If you have any thoughts, feel free to share.

Heading to the 5pm service at Mars Hill Bellevue. :)