If you are chilly, here take my sweater

It's been a while, I know...I'm sorry.

2 weeks ago, my wonderful friend Laura married the man of her dreams. Laura's wedding was gorgeous, and I was reminded again of how beautiful marriage can be. There have been SO many weddings and engagements this summer. It has lead to many conversations about marriage and love with some of my friends. All I can say is I know it will be a challenge, but I'm looking forward to being on mission with whatever man God has planned for me. 

Speaking of engagements, one of my favorite people, Caroline, got engaged a few weeks ago. This is one wedding that I am BEYOND excited for. Caroline lives in Chicago and goes to college in Michigan. I flew out to meet her-then-boyfriend, Jack and to hang out with Caroline. Let me tell you, I was so nervous about meeting him. What if I didn't like him? What if there was just something weird about him? What if he didn't like me? He and I ended up having a little witty banter argument like Caro and I did all the time. All I remember is he got the better of me in the "argument" and that's when I knew he was the right guy for her. Now they're getting married in June. Yay. :)

I also got to spend 4 days in Eburg with these ladies and Shannon. It was such a great time, and God repaired a very strained friendship with one of them. Plus, I got to go home and see all my friends from school!!

Oh yeah, and about a week ago, I accepted a job offer. No big deal. My new hometown has a Mars Hill Church and a guide dog group, so I'm set.

Now, I just get to make sure I see everyone before I leave.

All of these are evidences of God's amazing grace and love. I'm so humbled.

And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

(James 1:5-6)

This is my verse of the day. I'm thrilled that I've been moving very quickly through the hiring process for a certain dispatch department. The department seems great, there's a Mars Hill and guide dog group in the area, there's a police department with a reserve program in the area, and I could work there. There is just so much that I don't know...and I will be relying heavily on wisdom from God to figure this thing out. I don't know why I'm so concerned, I haven't even been made a job offer yet...haha.

When it comes down to it, I find so much relief in the fact that I  don't have to rely on my own abilities and knowledge to make any decisions. If it was all and only up to me, I don't know how I'd survive. I was talking to one of my residents today about the future and I explained to her my viewpoint: I do the best I can, but in the end it's in God's hands. She said that makes sense, and I can't imagine what it would be like to not have that reassurance. I mean, the mind of a man may plan his way but the Lord directs his steps. No matter where I end up, I know it will be doors that God has opened. As my resident pointed out, who knows...the perfect guy [the guy God has waiting for me] might be wherever I get a job and then moving somewhere unknown would be all worth it. I thought that was cute. .......and maybe true, who knows. 

So that's my little thought gush for the day. 

Evidences of God's Grace:

• The fact that I made it to backgrounds in this testing process
• Having a 4-day Memorial Day weekend!
• Feeling so much more at peace about graduating
• ALmost finishing my Lit Review for my senior thesis
• Finding a modest and yet cute graduation dress
• Feeling humbled 
• Reminders of what it's like to be a godly woman
• E-mailing with Jill!!! (I love that girl)
• Talking to Caro on the phone...even though it was brief.

L.I.F.E. G.O.E.S. O.N.

Today's picture: tiny


I wasn't really sure what I was going to do for "tiny." Not many things are small here. But when I got back to my room, I saw this tiny little teddy bear.

I made sure the other things were in there for sizing. The little green bear was a gift from Caroline's grandparents last Easter. One year ago on Sunday, I was in Chicago with Caroline and her family. I spent Easter with her and her family and her friend Kaleigh. Caro's grandparents left Easter baskets for each of the girls and one for Kaleigh and me! It was so super sweet of them. It was weird not being with my family last year, but I flew home just in time to have dinner leftovers at my parents' house. And I even made it in time to see my grandma last year! 

That was an interesting trip. I got to meet some very important people in Caro's life, I got to see her college, and I learned some valuable lessons. One interesting thing is how very different schools can be. She goes to a great college, but most of the people there are thinkers. In order to be admitted, you have to be super smart and talented. While I was there I felt more intelligent, but at the same time I felt stupid. And I rarely ever feel stupid. People were talking about Aristotle and some of the greatest philosophers in every day conversation. I think it's really cool that such amazing minds are being cultivated to their fullest at that college. However, I also began to really appreciate CWU. It's home for me. All of the people are ridiculously friendly and down to earth. No one is snobby or pretentious. Sure, I'm learning very practical things and I may not be one of the great minds of the future, but I'm studying communication so that I can go out and USE it with every day people. I may not be a future leader of the nation, but I'll be that one person making a quiet difference every day in my job. And my cute, quiet, laid back, country school can teach me everything I need to know. <3

I also learned a bit about grace on that trip. It was difficult for me because I flew all the way over to Michigan and Chicago to visit, but another friend of Caro's came home with her for Easter as well. Her family is extremely gracious and wonderful hosts. However, I had already met them two other times and the other guest was new. Plus, Caro has history with me but sees the other guest every day at school, so she is used to spending more time with the other gal. I felt like I was a third wheel from the moment I walked in the door. Caro's family and sisters ended up hanging out with me more than she did, I felt. But I took it all very poorly and ended up pouting. I was extremely selfish and didn't go out of my way to welcome the other guest or to be very friendly once we got to the house. I was jealous. Plain and simple. I was thinking "it's not fair that this other girl gets to see Caro every day, and I fly in from Seattle, and I get put on the back burner. Not intentionally, but it's more natural for her to spend time with the other girl." 

Like I said it ended up pretty badly with me in tears and Caro's mom trying to mediate. Being gracious is something I've never been good at. I like having things my way and when I don't get what I planned on, or what I want, I manipulate other people till I get what I want. I learned that I need to work on grace. It was a tough place and time to learn it since I only had a few days and wanted to enjoy them. I really hope next time I see Caroline that it will be great and fun. 

This year I won't be spending Easter with my parents, again. I'll be on duty over the weekend and it wouldn't be practical to be home at 7pm on Sunday. *sigh* Maybe next year...

The day before

Tomorrow at noon, my dad is picking me up for Thanksgiving break. YAY! Alex and Brittney left this afternoon, along with most of our podlings, I think. So Hollie and I decided to have dinner and watch a movie. It was funtastic. I love Hollie. She's like........well I don't know how to describe her, but she's awesome. She goes home on the weekends, so the entire time I've been here I haven't gotten to know her that well, but now that I am, I like what I know :)

It's just weird trying to pack to go back to my house and my empty room. This feels like home. And I know my empty room won't. But the plus side is that my extended family is coming over for Thanksgiving! YAY! And then I get to hang out with Jill. And I forgot the best part--MARS HILL ON SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a little excited :D

My goals for the week are to finish my reading and talk to Caroline. Because I miss her. And that's all folks! Next time I blog I'll be back on the hill!

Simon Says

raise your hand if you're leaving for school in 7 days! *hand shoots up* I had my last guide dog meeting today which was kind of sad. I mean, I know I'll be back for breaks but like Tracey said, life will never be the same again. So I keep getting more and more excited..especially as this is a real week of "lasts". Like tonight is the last Sunday night I'll be living in this house, sleeping in this bed.

But the evidence of God's grace I want to post about today is just my awesome friends. I have people in my life whom I know I can turn to about anything. I had a situation that really just sucks come up, and my tendency is to keep it to myself and hide the imperfections in my life. But I decided to reach out and tell Caroline about it, and I know that she cares. Jill is coming back soon (which means she'll be able to talk again and to come visit me at school!!!) and I've missed her lots. I'm taking a trip over to Eburg on Weds for a job interview, and Shannon and one of her friends will be coming along. And stuff like I have all these situations that come up that remind me of Explorers or Academy, and I can just text or message Jake and he always "gets" it. Not to mention that we've had some pretty great talks in general, too. Hannah is the nuttiest girl I know, but I absolutely adore the way she lives for Jesus in a down-to-earth way. This morning at church I was kind of feeling alone even though I was surrounded by people, and Emily J saw me, smiled, and waved, and a little while later Jill D poked me as I passed her in the communion line. I'm hanging out with Cortney for the first time in a LONG time, tomorrow and I can't wait to see her beautiful little face. She has this intensity and passion about life and living it well that I just adore. God has blessed me with some radically amazing people.

you could be happy, I hope you are, you make me happier than I've been by far

It's been a whirlwind of a week!!

• See-ya-later dates started
• Running regularly restarted
• I put the wrong kind of dish soap into the dishwasher where I was babysiting and ended up with suds all over their hardwood floor
• I spent some good time studying in Galatians and learning (again) about living a life wholly and completely for Jesus 
• Listened to a convicting sermon about being on mission
• Prepped my very last Toddler 3 lesson for church
• Put internet on my phone
• Saw my little brother get his Webelos uniform
• Watched two friends begin their journey as a married couple
• Got a voicemail from my lovey, Caroline

I have gotten out of the habit of posting evidences of God's grace so I'm going to do my best to post at least those every day.

Evidences of God's Grace in my life today--watching Mr. Jon Siek and Ms. Brandi Ferrell become Mr. and Mrs. Siek. Seeing the beauty in the creation of marriage and how wonderful love is when Jesus is at the center. I rode to the wedding with Heather and Patrick who have been married for a year or two and have a beautiful marriage. And at the wedding I saw Jason and Lindsay who have been married for about a year and are expecting their first baby in February. It makes me so excited to find the right guy, and is such a good reminder that love where Jesus is first is the best way to go.

um...later

I haven't been that busy, and yet I find myself putting off the things I should be doing first. For instance, why is reading a spy novel and watching this week's episode of White Collar so much more important than sitting down and spending some time with Jesus? Answer= it's not. I think part of my problem is that when I'm watching a movie or reading a book, my brain gets to check out. When I'm hanging with friends, I'm just having fun. And spending time with Jesus is hard work because I'm always thinking. Still, I recognize that's not a good excuse, so I will push myself back into Exodus. (and don't tell me to read something else that I find more interesting, because Exodus has been one of the most interesting books I've read)

46 days till I leave for college. I am now Facebook friends with my roommate, and she seems normal enough :) No word on the job-front. I have an application to fill out for an on-campus job, but I don't want to be offered a job there before I get a chance to hear back from the other places I applied, so i'm going to wait a little while to turn it in.

I could keep blogging for hours about how much I miss Caroline and Jill, how sad I am that Jessie moved yesterday, and what the Explorer post is up to this week, but I think I'm going to actually sit down and read my Biblia.

Mayhem in Seattle

So yesterday, Shannon and I went downtown for the day. We walked around Pike Place and stopped by the original Starbucks and shopped in the lovely shopping district for a while. Then we went to the Mariner's game aaaaand we lost of course. :) But we ended up missing our bus and being stuck downtown until 10:45pm. Shannon's family got really upset that she was in Seattle so late, but my parents were pretty chill about the whole thing. I mean, I'm a pretty observant and safe kid and our God is a protector. So we got home fine, but now we have a great story about the night we got stuck in Seattle. It was just another example of how I can stay extremely relaxed and calm even in crazy situations...always fun stuff.

This afternoon I had a lovely talk with one lady whom I love so very much. Every time I talk with her, I always go away wishing I could just be in the same room with her forever. Somehow, we have that mix between just having a great time, making fun of life, telling fantastic stories, spilling our guts, and sharing how Jesus is working in our hearts, minds, and lives. There are a very few people in this world I can say that about, and Caroline is one of them. <3

Now I'm going to continue my journey through Exodus. I've picked up something from my friend Jessie who is a newer Christian. When she reads the Old Testament, she sees a story of God's faithfulness in the lives of his people. I'm used to just reading the stories and picking out the lesson like any good Sunday School kid would do. Thanks to Jessie, I'm going to see how God's amazing plan and overarching power follows Moses and the Israelites as they leave Egypt.