All the single ladies....

Pastor Mark made a super interesting comment the other day. Instead of just making a list of things you want in a spouse, make a list of things you want to be for your future spouse.

A best friend. I want to be the first person he thinks of texting when he hears a funny story or wants to complain about the overtime at work. Who he pictures going with him to the Seahawks game. 

An encourager. I want to help him pursue his dreams. On those days that just suck, I want to speak words of life to him. To find ways to let him know I care and am behind him 100%. 

A helper. And it kills me because every feministic bone in my body is screaming at me for typing that. But it's true. I want to make a beautiful and relaxing home. I want to make breakfast for 2 in the morning, and spaghetti for dayssss. I want to help him fix the car and mow the lawn. I want to work hard in my career field to help make money not so much of an issue.

A mom. I want to have a big family with so much love and patience and jokes and silliness and loud laughter. I want to teach my kids what the difference is between chloroform and chlorophyll. I want to let them watch "Up" while we're all snuggled up on the couch. I want them to "read" their Bible with me before bed, and to get to tell them the Jesus stories over and over. I want to have foster kids who rebel and make us want to cry.

A sister in Christ. I want to go to church together. To sing about Jesus together. To pray together every day. To ask him tough questions and discuss our thoughts. To hold him accountable in the areas he's struggling with. To lead a community group with him.

That's just the beginning. I want to be someone he's proud of. When I walk in the bar while he's talking with his friends, I want him to be so excited to tell his friends "that's my wife!!" 

Dance all night, there's no end in sight

Okay, here I go. God is SO good. It's been really easy for me to forget that I'm only where I'm at right now because God made all the little things fall into place. I just finished my first phase of training at work. I'll actually miss training a lot because our trainer was amazing and the three of us who were being trained had a blast together. Now I move to phase 2--answering live calls all day every day.

It's an incredible job. Every day I answer a 911 line that connects people to the help they need. Sometimes we save lives. It's MUCH more difficult than I thought it'd be, but it's also really exciting. So starting tomorrow I'm working full 10-hour days. woooo

I just e-mailed someone at church about finding a new community group....I'm SO excited about that.

I should be moving into an apartment in early October. !!!!!

I heard from the soldier I adopted and I'm blown away by how much he appreciates the little things that we do. It's such a rewarding thing. 

If you are chilly, here take my sweater

It's been a while, I know...I'm sorry.

2 weeks ago, my wonderful friend Laura married the man of her dreams. Laura's wedding was gorgeous, and I was reminded again of how beautiful marriage can be. There have been SO many weddings and engagements this summer. It has lead to many conversations about marriage and love with some of my friends. All I can say is I know it will be a challenge, but I'm looking forward to being on mission with whatever man God has planned for me. 

Speaking of engagements, one of my favorite people, Caroline, got engaged a few weeks ago. This is one wedding that I am BEYOND excited for. Caroline lives in Chicago and goes to college in Michigan. I flew out to meet her-then-boyfriend, Jack and to hang out with Caroline. Let me tell you, I was so nervous about meeting him. What if I didn't like him? What if there was just something weird about him? What if he didn't like me? He and I ended up having a little witty banter argument like Caro and I did all the time. All I remember is he got the better of me in the "argument" and that's when I knew he was the right guy for her. Now they're getting married in June. Yay. :)

I also got to spend 4 days in Eburg with these ladies and Shannon. It was such a great time, and God repaired a very strained friendship with one of them. Plus, I got to go home and see all my friends from school!!

Oh yeah, and about a week ago, I accepted a job offer. No big deal. My new hometown has a Mars Hill Church and a guide dog group, so I'm set.

Now, I just get to make sure I see everyone before I leave.

All of these are evidences of God's amazing grace and love. I'm so humbled.

Oh the love that sought me!

We sang this at church. I think it's my new favorite worship song obsession:


In Tenderness


In tenderness he sought me
Weary and sick with sin
And on his shoulders brought me
Back to his fold again
While angels in his presence sang
Until the courts of heaven rang

Oh the love that sought me
Oh the blood that bought me
Oh the grace that brought me
To the fold
Wondrous grace that brought me
To the fold

He washed the bleeding sin wounds
And poured oil and wine
He whispered to assure me
"i've found you, you are mine,"
I never heard a sweeter voice
It made my aching heart rejoice

He pointed to the nailâ©prints
For me his blood was shed
A mocking crown so thorny
Was placed upon his head
I wondered what he saw in me
To suffer such deep agony

I'm sitting in his presence
The sunshine of his face
While with adoring wonder
His blessings i retrace
It seems as if eternal days
Are far too short to sound
His praise

So while the hours are passing
All now is perfect rest
I'm waiting for the morning
The brightest and the best
When he will call us to his side
To be with him
His spotless bride.



In other news, I have a car now. Yay! I'll introduce him formally in another post. And I'm going to try to make one new recipe per week. Most of them I've found on Pinterest and look scrumptious. Stay tuned for reports on those endeavors.

And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

(James 1:5-6)

This is my verse of the day. I'm thrilled that I've been moving very quickly through the hiring process for a certain dispatch department. The department seems great, there's a Mars Hill and guide dog group in the area, there's a police department with a reserve program in the area, and I could work there. There is just so much that I don't know...and I will be relying heavily on wisdom from God to figure this thing out. I don't know why I'm so concerned, I haven't even been made a job offer yet...haha.

When it comes down to it, I find so much relief in the fact that I  don't have to rely on my own abilities and knowledge to make any decisions. If it was all and only up to me, I don't know how I'd survive. I was talking to one of my residents today about the future and I explained to her my viewpoint: I do the best I can, but in the end it's in God's hands. She said that makes sense, and I can't imagine what it would be like to not have that reassurance. I mean, the mind of a man may plan his way but the Lord directs his steps. No matter where I end up, I know it will be doors that God has opened. As my resident pointed out, who knows...the perfect guy [the guy God has waiting for me] might be wherever I get a job and then moving somewhere unknown would be all worth it. I thought that was cute. .......and maybe true, who knows. 

So that's my little thought gush for the day. 

Evidences of God's Grace:

• The fact that I made it to backgrounds in this testing process
• Having a 4-day Memorial Day weekend!
• Feeling so much more at peace about graduating
• ALmost finishing my Lit Review for my senior thesis
• Finding a modest and yet cute graduation dress
• Feeling humbled 
• Reminders of what it's like to be a godly woman
• E-mailing with Jill!!! (I love that girl)
• Talking to Caro on the phone...even though it was brief.

Seasons come and go, but I will never change

Well let's see...I have 3 weeks till graduation. Crazy. I'm convinced that this entire quarter is one big test to see if we can remember to jump through all the hoops. There are a million things to do before closing the residence hall, I have so many papers due this week, and job applications are exhausting. I shouldn't be blogging, I should be getting paper to finish my portfolio. :)

In a few short weeks these little deadlines and homework assignments won't be a big deal anymore. It's just odd. I'm really really going to miss my residents. They are so fun and just easy to hang out with. I was watching Glee, and one of the characters put it well when she said "I just don't want all of it to end."

BUT, on the cool side, I passed my dispatcher exam with pretty darn good scores. But the best part is that most of the agencies who are hiring are in the same area or city as a Mars Hill church! As scary as re-locating and starting over is, I feel like if I'm in a place where I can be at Mars Hill again, there will be a family there.

That was the day I promised I'd never sing of love if it did not exist

I've been watching the Real Marriage series. It's REALLY good. Super practical even for us single people.

Today's is on porn. I'm only 30 minutes in and I had to stop it 1) because I had to go to class and 2) it was such a powerful message. It was interesting because he was talking about how even thinking about a person who is not your spouse in certain ways can be sin. The last one was on sexual assault, and that was also a toughie. If you know someone who is struggling with being a victim of assault, please refer them to this message. It's full of grace, love, and redemption.

Evidences of God's Grace:

• huge progress on my thesis
• feeling on top of homework
• it's Tuesday!!
• conviction of sin that no one sees, but is impacting my life
• getting the hall sphere of excellence from a ressie

The day before

Tomorrow at noon, my dad is picking me up for Thanksgiving break. YAY! Alex and Brittney left this afternoon, along with most of our podlings, I think. So Hollie and I decided to have dinner and watch a movie. It was funtastic. I love Hollie. She's like........well I don't know how to describe her, but she's awesome. She goes home on the weekends, so the entire time I've been here I haven't gotten to know her that well, but now that I am, I like what I know :)

It's just weird trying to pack to go back to my house and my empty room. This feels like home. And I know my empty room won't. But the plus side is that my extended family is coming over for Thanksgiving! YAY! And then I get to hang out with Jill. And I forgot the best part--MARS HILL ON SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a little excited :D

My goals for the week are to finish my reading and talk to Caroline. Because I miss her. And that's all folks! Next time I blog I'll be back on the hill!

Here I go again

Well hello. Sorry I've been gone so long--college is just THAT busy I guess!

I have to say that I love Ellensburg. I don't like some things about it, like that it's so small and that there really isn't anywhere to go shopping/there aren't a million Starbucks around, but I love the quaint college town feel. I love that you can drive from one side to the other in 5 minutes and that when it's snowing it looks like one of those perfect small towns in the movies.

Jill and Kirsten and Mary have all come to visit since the last time I posted. It's so funny to me because when I'm here, I feel like this is MY school. I've been here 2 months, and I feel like I've been here forever. Living in a dorm definitely has its downsides--including hearing EVERYTHING that goes on in the rooms around you. Sometimes it's hard because I would love to get to know people in other rooms, but I'm sooooo busy. But I've tried a little.

I've been on another ride with campus PD, and I'm going on another one after Thanksgiving break. Hopefully next quarter, when the work schedule changes, I'll be able to keep riding! The officers I've met are really great! We had some action on my last ride, and they just keep getting better :) Over winter break I'd love to ride with our officer advisor who was on maternity leave while I was in the post, and some of my TACs from Academy. Our advisor said the more departments I can ride with, the better....helps you get to know what you want to work with.

Classes are all pretty easy. I've written a million papers, but since writing has never been a problem for me, I don't mind. Next quarter I'll have more Law and Justice classes than Com classes, but I think that'll be fun! The only bummer is how crazy busy I'll be. But I found out that one of my friends from class this quarter will be in both my Com classes next quarter! Yay!

I'm definitely looking forward to having a break, though. Over Thanksgiving break, I'll have SO much to do! I'm going back on Weds afternoon/evening, Thursday we'll probably be at my grandma's, Friday I'm going Black Friday shopping with Jill (for my first time!), Sunday is church with Mary, seeing Em, and then Jill's for a fundraiser, and at some point I have to fit in editing a paper for a friend and going to Janda's raisers' house to show them what I have done for her scrapbook! Like I said, busy week!

I found a good church, and next quarter one of my podlings and I will be going to the campus ministry. Jesus has been so good, and is definitely working in my life. Especially in the little things like getting along with a co-worker I don't like. Someone once said pray that God will give you patience until he changes them, or that he will give them patience while he works on your heart. That's what I've been praying. I listen to the Mars Hill podcasts every day when I run, and they're just so good. And so convicting!

And now I am going to watch a movie and just enjoy being caught up in all my classes :)

I'm a Barbie girrl in a Barbie worrrld

It's probably time to write an update. The weekend starts on Friday morning for me. :D I don't have any classes at all on Friday and just work. I can't even tell you what I did. It was kind of just a chill day. Oh no wait. I spent a good hour working out, worked, and then hung out with Alex, Brittany, Katie, and Emily. We watched a movie...and then yesterday we walked around Eburg, got frozen yogurt, and watched another movie. :) Today we drove to Costco in Yakima and I got cookie dough and fruit snacks! (next on my list is a tray to bake my cookies on) I don't think we have any plans for tonight...probably just finish my reading that's due Tuesday. Maybe get dinner at some point. Been back in Galatians which is good. Kinda over my head some nights. But I'm looking forward to listening to Mark Driscoll's sermon online tonight.

you could be happy, I hope you are, you make me happier than I've been by far

It's been a whirlwind of a week!!

• See-ya-later dates started
• Running regularly restarted
• I put the wrong kind of dish soap into the dishwasher where I was babysiting and ended up with suds all over their hardwood floor
• I spent some good time studying in Galatians and learning (again) about living a life wholly and completely for Jesus 
• Listened to a convicting sermon about being on mission
• Prepped my very last Toddler 3 lesson for church
• Put internet on my phone
• Saw my little brother get his Webelos uniform
• Watched two friends begin their journey as a married couple
• Got a voicemail from my lovey, Caroline

I have gotten out of the habit of posting evidences of God's grace so I'm going to do my best to post at least those every day.

Evidences of God's Grace in my life today--watching Mr. Jon Siek and Ms. Brandi Ferrell become Mr. and Mrs. Siek. Seeing the beauty in the creation of marriage and how wonderful love is when Jesus is at the center. I rode to the wedding with Heather and Patrick who have been married for a year or two and have a beautiful marriage. And at the wedding I saw Jason and Lindsay who have been married for about a year and are expecting their first baby in February. It makes me so excited to find the right guy, and is such a good reminder that love where Jesus is first is the best way to go.

On Mission: CWU

Pastor Mark talked about being on mission in our communities today. It got me thinking about all the opportunities there will be at Central this fall. I mean, I'll be at a school full of people who don't know Jesus and are at a crucial point in their lives. I'm praying that there will be at least one other Christian brought into my life early on so that we can reach out to the people on campus together. But if not, I'm praying that I will have the boldness to just be open with people and not be afraid about talking about Jesus. I would love to get a mini-community group started there. I mean, I can't lead it unless it's just girls, but how great would it be to get a group of people to watch the sermons and talk about them? Or even just to have an on-campus Bible Study? I mean the opportunities are endless, and Jesus is putting me there. So I'm excited to be on mission at Central!

Pop! goes the shoulder

During my nightly workout my lovely shoulder popped and I have no idea if it'll be fine for Academy. This will be interesting.

On another note, I have an amazing community group. We talked today about where we want to take our group as far as service goes, since we're so new. It looks like we all have a heart for youth and the young people of Redmond, so I'm excited to see how things develop within our group! I truly feel Jesus working in that group, and that's not something I can say often. The prayer time with Jessie and Emily (squared) was deep and we were all able to be very vulnerable and honest. I discovered that Emily J. is a lot more like me than I knew, and I like her very much.

For the few of you who know about it, my family crap has re-surfaced in full swing and I realized today how much genuine prayer will help in the situation. So please be in prayer for it.

Though dark my path and sad my lot, let me be still and murmur not, or breathe the prayer divinely taught, Thy will be done. 

back off, please...I can handle it

So I've had this thought before, but I've never bothered to actually think it all the way through.

I was at an event with a mixed crowd, and one guy made some smart remark making fun of me. If you know me, you'd know that I was thinking up my response when another guy (that I don't know very well) jumped in and goes "hey, no making fun of my little sister" (referring to the fact that we're all brothers and sisters in Christ). I immediately bristled and said "hey hey, wait a minute. I can take care of myself, thank you very much." Then I sat there for a minute trying to figure out why it bothered me so much that this guy jumped in. And here's what I came up with.

I am all for the male leader, male protector model. HOWEVER, I don't want a guy protecting me who doesn't believe that I am a completely capable human being all on my own. If someone protects me because they don't want me to have to fight for myself, that's different than someone who thinks I can't fight for myself. My problem with the guy who jumped in is that he's never treated me as an equal--just as someone who needs to be watched out for as if I'm a china doll in the hands of a 2-year-old. I can respect a man if he respects me, too. I think this will be part of how I will be able to know very clearly if a man is supposed to be my future spouse. And I know it's possible.

Take my brother for instance. We grew up as equals. I mean sure, he's bigger, stronger, and faster than me but if it came down to a fight he would jump in because he loves me and would rather take the blows than have me go through it. Also take some of the Explorer guys that I work with or most of the men at my cg. If there were to be any kind of disagreement, I wouldn't have a problem with one of them stepping in for me because I know they respect me as a person. They know I'm capable of defending my honor but they'd rather do it for me.

This might make me a feminist, but I was thinking about it and I don't think it's against the Bible. Mars Hill likes to talk a lot about how in a marriage both people are equal, but the man needs to be the leader (because there can only be one leader). So I think it fits that the leader/protector role can come out of love and not out of responsibility or duty. I dunno maybe this doesn't make any sense to anyone who's not in my brain. But it always helps for me to write things out :)

wise words to live by

My God, my Father while I stray
Far from my home on life's rough way
Oh, teach me from my heart to say
Thy will be done.

Though dark my path and sad my lot
Let me be still and murmur not
Or breathe the prayer divinely taught
Thy will be done.

But if my fainting heart be blessed
With the Holy Spirit for its guest
My God to Thee I leave the rest
Thy will be done.

If Thou should call me to resign
What most I prize never was mine
I only yield Thee what is Thine
Thy will be done.

And when on earth I breathe no more
The prayer with tears was mixed before
I'll sing upon that joyful shore
Thy will be done!

Changed By Jesus--Mars Hill's impact on my life

The Bellevue campus sent out a message to its attendees asking for stories of how Mars Hill has changed people's lives. I didn't intend to send anything in because I'm such a boring, blah, normal person. But I realized that many people probably don't send in their stories for the same reason. And yes, Mars Hill has radically changed my life, so I thought it'd be a good exercise for me to look at how--even if I don't end up sending it in.

I've grown up as a church kid. From a very early age I've heard about Jesus and how being good makes God happy. Even as a college sophomore, I've never had alcohol, never done drugs, never slept around, and never done "bad" things in general. I think my relationship with Jesus became real when I was a high school Sophomore, but I knew very little about His true character. Every day I fell into the "if I'm good, God will love me" lie and was overwhelmed by guilt and a sense of being trapped.

Two years ago my family started attending Mars Hill Eastside. Resisting change, I drug my feet and tried to make every Sunday as miserable as possible. I complained about the coffee, the music, and how no one talked to me. Last July I decided to try a community group. At first I was overwhelmed by the 14 guys and only 4 girls. However, for some reason I came back again and again. My cg leader has a story pretty similar to mine. He challenged me to step out of my initial "church kid" response to everything and to see a different Jesus than I was used to.

When I did, I discovered that I had a relationship with Jesus that was driven by a desire to do things instead of a fear for the consequences. I discovered a desire to serve that didn't come naturally before. I discovered that sharing Jesus with my friends doesn't have to be a theological discussion...it can be a Facebook status. I learned about showing grace. I learned how to study my Bible. And last, but not least, I learned how to forgive the deep pain and anger from my past. 

My community group has been a huge influence on my life. Some of the people in that group make sure I don't fall back into the "church kid" pattern. My cg leader's wife is an amazing example of a godly woman and I have learned so much from just watching her. And through these people I'm seeing how to legitimately pray and live my life in view of the fact that it really IS all about Jesus..instead of just saying it is. I'm finally understanding what my youth pastor was saying when he said "being a Christian shouldn't be part of your biography: I'm a dancer, actor, Christian, and waitress. It should BE your biography."

I could go on and on about the preaching and how I've seen God work in miraculous ways in my life since I've come to Mars Hill, but it's really the people doing life with me that have changed everything.

"Live in a big, bold way....with humility"--Pastor Mark

This will be the struggle of my life.

May 2nd, 2010

• extended night of worship
• 3 year olds. seriously.
• meeting Bellevue Police officers at Chipotle
• community
• being challenged in my complacency 
• flowers from Caleb
• grande skinny vanilla latte
• Jessie 
• hugs from Emily J without any explanation
• realizing that compared to Jesus, I'm pretty pathetic
• prayer

All evidences of God's grace in my life...all happened today.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me

Had a little chat with Jesus this morning. I have been so exhausted recently that I decided to stay home from the early service and go the the 5pm tonight. While my family was gone at service, I spent some time out on the swing in the back yard, just praising Jesus and meditating on some verses. I read Zechariah 7 and came away with some interesting thoughts.

First of all, it talked about the city's heart motive. Sure, they'd been fasting and praying but it wasn't for God it was because they felt like the had to. That struck me. I do that frequently. I've been afraid of people judging me for my faith for so long that I've swung to the opposite end of things. Now, I'll read my Bible in public but not to learn from it, just so people can see that I am reading my Bible and that I love God. In a way, it's better to read in a hidden corner and learn something from Jesus than it is to read in public and feel good that I'm a "witness".

The chapter went on to talk about justice which is, of course, very near and dear to my heart. I started thinking again about Micah 6:8 and realized something.

In Micah 6:8, we are told to "do justly AND love mercy". By very definition, these things seem like opposites. Justice is people getting what they deserve and mercy is abstaining from punishing someone for something they deserve. So I'm still thinking about how these two can live in conjunction with eachother. That's what I'll be thinking about this week. If you have any thoughts, feel free to share.

Heading to the 5pm service at Mars Hill Bellevue. :)

books, books, books

So I got my books today! Wednesday I went on a random "I need good books!" Amazon shopping spree and they came this afternoon. What's been added to Anna's shelf, you ask? I'd be happy to tell you!

First off we have Religion Saves (and nine other misconceptions) by Mark Driscoll

Even though I was there when this series was preached, I think it'll not only be a good refresher, but also a fantastic book to have at college with me!

Second you'll find The Radical Reformission (reaching out with out selling out) also by Mark Driscoll

I think the thing that caught me on this one was the subtitle. I'm excited to read it :)

Last, but certainly not least, is a book recommended to me by my wonderful friend Emily...Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller

As I was ordering my two previous books that I knew I 'had to have' I got a notice from Amazon saying "if you add $2.11 more to your cart, you'll get free shipping". So of course I had to add one more book! I hopped onto Facebook and glory be, Emily just happened to be online and so I told her to give me the name of a book I really should read. And this was the winner.

So, even though I have absolutely no free time, I'm looking forward to reading these books soon!!!