Saturday, February 27, 2010

So here I am

sitting in one of the lounges at Emily's school. And #1 getting excited for going to Central next fall. #2 realizing how much I love people in general. #3 being blown away by how much I love this Emily kid.

My list of Emily quotes:

"Anna's being suggestive over there..."
"let's look at the Bible!"

Em: Remember how this time of day two months ago it would have been dark?
Me: uh huh
Em: It's not.          That's all I have to say.

"I have that big bag...we could fit like 20 cats in that bag!"

Friday, February 26, 2010

Thank goodess for Ruth

I'm really loving the sermon series Redeeming Ruth. It's extremely timely for me because although I'm generally not too concerned about boys and getting married, it's been very helpful information. And plus I just love Pastor Mark.

Partly because of this series and partly just because of other stuff going on, I'm trying to be joyful in everything. In the rain, in being single, in my job, in school, in working hard, in silence, in Jesus, in exercise, in responsibility, in friends.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

It's spring musical season!!!!!

......and I get to sit and watch.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

highlighters and dance tape

Yesterday we picked our scene for my drama class. I'm very excited about all the potential we have in ours! The  lady who I'm playing opposite is SO much fun, and we're just going to have a great time playing around on stage together. (we're starting rehearsals tomorrow :D)

Yesterday I was also playing around with choreography for our dance show (for Jazz class) and I got too close to the piano bench and whacked my foot really hard into it. Needless to say, I broke at least one toe and spent the rest of the night icing it. Now it's taped, so hopefully it won't re-set deformed or anything. Not gonna lie, I love the pity it gets. But then again, I kind of deserve the pity because today I danced and ran on this broken toe. Ahhhh I love my life.

I DO love my time with Jesus, though. When I consistently stay with Jesus, magical things happen to my attitude and outlook on life.

Evidences of God's Grace:

  • free sermons online
  • being relaxed during a crazy week
  • celery, carrots, yogurt with raspberries, and milk  

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

In a tough situation and...

I feel like nothing I can say will help!
I know what I'm supposed to say, but the other person won't listen.
the answer seems so obvious to me.
no one else in this person's life agrees with me, so I'm the mean one.
it's about something I have very strong convictions.
I wish I could do or say something that would make sense to this other person.
I'm so sick of being the lone person who has convictions.
I just want to cry....

Monday, February 22, 2010

Worth Your Time

If you're single, this sermon series is worth your time. I LOVE it.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Yes, I can be me

Sometimes I try too much to be like other people. To be fair, I have some astounding people in my life. And there is a lot to learn from many of them. Actually, if I put a little bit of all of them together I might get the perfect person! But I catch myself WAY too much seeing things other people do and going "oh! I should get on that!" or "my blog should be like hers" or "if I could have friends like her, I would be so happy" etc.

I'm still finding who I am in this crazy messed up world. I catch myself making mistake after mistake. By myself I'm just a train wreck.

That's why I love Jesus so much.

And my take-home from the sermon today is that I need to take time out of my life for Jesus to pour Himself into me. To do: schedule time for silence and solitude.

God's grace is enough for me today. I don't feel like posting evidences of it.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

"I've been going here for 7 years and I'm almost done!"

The above is a statement heard by myself and a certain Emily Yeaton at Bellevue College today. What was I doing there you might ask? And on a weekend? Well, this certain Emily and I decided that since it was such a beautifully glorious day, and since Emily hadn't been to Bellevue College in SUCH a long time (she used to grace the halls once upon a time) that we would take ourselves there. We walked the nearly empty campus and took pictures like Asian tourists. We passed "spots" where I have memories with a bazillion people and christened our own new spot. We talked about friends,school, boys, strange people circling the parking lot, churches, how I get to see her again in a week, and how long a week is.

Before that, I spent an hour enjoying the beeeutiful sunshine Jesus brought out for us Seattleites. Janda (the guide dog pupster) and I explored our neighborhood quite a bit, which was lovely!

And even before THAT, my awesome friend Julz and I drove in to Seattle to visit Seattle Pacific University and a certain Laura friend who is....pretty much the sweetest girl I've ever known.

Visiting her and talking to Em just made me super excited about going to Central. I just can't wait till I can be in the dorms, and having "my" campus. Having floor-mates....yes! *sigh* I am trying to be patient while I wait.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Lord, teach me to persevere

I know myself. And in these times when life is great and running smoothly, I need to stay in The Word. Because when it stops being so fantastic, I'll be hit super hard.

So Lord, teach me how to persevere in spending time with You, even when I feel like I can do it on my own.

Evidence of God's Grace: Janda. My little guide dog puppy. I love her so much.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Lord, teach me to love

I am so far from loving people the way You do, Jesus. Show me how to be unselfish and how to rejoice when other rejoice. Show me how to see people and things in this world the way You see them. 

Monday, February 15, 2010

Lord, teach me to live

(Tell me she isn't adorable)

Last night the sermon at Mars Hill challenged me on a few levels. The first one is that right now is the time I need to be living for Jesus. Right now is when I should be investing in ministry and "pouring myself out" as Pastor Mark called it. When is a better time to learn from my non-Christian friends? 

At first, I thought "oh, I don't fall in to the trap of saying I'll do it later....I'm ALWAYS doing something!" But the relationship thing scares me. I don't know how to live in a way where I have an open heart to everyone, but can still stay strong in my own beliefs. 

Lord, teach me the difference between being a good influence and being annoying. Show me who you want me to befriend. Teach me how to live right now so that I don't waste this life. Teach me how to LIVE.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

This made my day

(left by a boy at the restaurant last night)

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Yesterday, after my post about unsuppressable joy, I had a miserable end of my shift at work. The other girl working (18 year old) hung out in the bar while her last table sat around. There were a million tables to be cleaned and re-set, the back line was a mess, I still had 4 tables, but instead of helping out she just cleaned her own tables and went in the bar. First of all, that's illegal. Second, it bugs the snot out of me when I have such a great work ethic and other people are so lazy. After I snapped at our bartender (which is totally out of character at work because #1 I love our bartender and #2 99% of the time I'm working I'm a perky kid) then I realized what I had posted earlier in the day and what I had read about suffering well. 

So no, I'm not being tortured for my faith or driven out of my home. I'm not suffering on even CLOSE to the level of some people. But working hard when everyone else slacks off is kind of a form of suffering, I think. So I had to apologize to our bartender and tried to embody that joy that I have because it's not all about my job or how well other people do their job. It's about how Jesus loves me enough that he gave me that job.

Plus I've always tried to do my job for Jesus and no one else. Yes, I want my employer and co-workers to see Jesus in me by the way I work, but in the end there are times when it'd be easy to do something that isn't right--but no one would know. Except God. 

Thank you, Jesus for that job.

Evidences of God's grace:
  • $82 take home in tips last night
  • being able to practice concepts I'm learning
  • Friday and Saturday not doing ANYTHING except working!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Un-suppressable Joy

This morning I picked up my good friend Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper for my morning read. The chapter was all about JOY from Jesus. 

Isn't joy a funny thing? We all know we're supposed to have it. We all feel good when we DO. But as soon as life gets a little rough, at least my world collapses and I lose all the joy I once had. That just proves that I have my hope and attention based in the wrong things.

Jesus himself --and all that God is for us in him--is our great reward, nothing less....Forgiveness gets everything out of the way so [salvation] can happen. If this fellowship is not all-satisfying, there is no great salvation. (Piper, 35)
Indomitable joy does not mean that there is only joy. Was He divided, torn between joy and sorrow? Can an infinitely glorious soul be troubled? Yes, troubled, but not torn and disunited. Christ was complex, but he was not confused. There were divergent notes in the music of his soul but the result was a symphony. (Piper, 38)
So yes, there will be sadness. And confusion. And hurt. But with Jesus, we have a joy that surpasses it all. At least, when I remember that my hope is in Jesus--not popularity, not success, not comfort--there can be joy even through the hard stuff.

Through the agonies of Gethsemane and Golgotha, Jesus was sustained by indestructible joy. "For the joy that was set before him [he] endured the cross, despising its shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2 (Piper, 38)

Thank you, Mr. Piper for an inspiring morning.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

To Sit in Solemn Silence

Today I planned my schedule for winter quarter. I think life's busy now? Just you wait till Spring 2010! It won't even be FUN crazy like it is this quarter.

Tonight I'm heading off to cg (yay!). Nothing puts me in a good mood like cg does!!!

I probably have more to talk about, but I'm kind of exhausted and need to write a paper. SO I'll leave you till tomorrow.
It was a

good day

now I'm

going to sleep

will post in

the afternoon

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Let that be enough

Tuesday craziness.

I'm still figuring out how to juggle all the classes and everything else. I certainly won't miss having class ALL DAY next quarter! Sometimes I feel like it would be nice just to slow down and catch my breath....but I know when I was not busy last year I was so bored. And I see every day as an opportunity--why waste it?

Next week will be WAY less crazy, and that'll be awesome. Today I really feel like I need to spend some time thinking through all the evidences of God's grace. So here's a list:

sun, ability to have my lines memorized, re-connecting with a friend, men, growing in friendships, ice cream sandwiches, safety as I drive every day, downtown Seattle, guide dog puppies, schedule items just clicking perfectly, homework being fun!, gusts of wind, working with Peter, my grey scarf, football, hot showers, long runs & feeling sore, singing, making breakthroughs on our scene, getting taxes done, FAFSA turning out better than expected

Monday, February 8, 2010

New Week!

Welcome to a new school week! This week I will have a lot of big things including at least one test and at least one big presentation. But today is just Monday and so I dance and act today.

My encouragement as I go into this week:

"My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven, He stands
No one can bid me thence depart!"

Ahhh Jesus loves me. If only I could remember that more.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Proverbs 31

I am thankful for the woman described in Proverbs 31. I was thinking today about a comment I heard recently regarding women and how if a man tries to lead in a relationship women consider it chauvinist. And that hit me hard because I know I'm a strong woman. I know I have opinions and plans and I'm driven. One of my mom's concerns for me has always been that I won't be able to let a man lead in my life.

I wrote earlier about how Deborah is one of my heroes because she was a mighty woman of faith. But the woman described in Proverbs 31 makes me super excited, too.

  1. She works hard! She not only runs her household but also has a job! (vs 24)
  2. She's smart! She uses her brain to make decisions (vs 16)
  3. She is generous! Always willing to give from what she has (vs 20)
  4. She is a strong woman! "Strength and dignity are her clothing" (vs 25)
Definitely someone for me to look up to. I just love the picture of how she's not just a low-key sweet girl who is weak and passive. Not to say that those kinds of women don't have amazing witnesses to everyone around them! I know some amazing women who aren't bold and straightforward. But it's possible to love Jesus and be a strong woman both at the same time.

Today's Evidences of God's Grace in my life:

SUN & SEATTLE. It's a glorious, sunny Seattle day. My whole family spent the morning in downtown Seattle and I can't get over how much I LOVE my city. Every time I see it, I attempt to look at it through the eyes of a visitor. The elegantly tall buildings backed by the shimmering Puget Sound. The height of the amazing Space Needle and the snow-dusted mountains in the distance. On this perfectly sky-blue afternoon, puffy white clouds floated across the sky. The hustle and bustle of the city life. It's a beautiful thing.


Thursday, February 4, 2010


Tonight we continued our study in I Kings. One of the take-homes was God's incredible faithfulness to people (like us!) who sin over and over and over again and fully KNOW they're doing it.

The big thing that hit me was how the kings kept sinning and sinning like their fathers did. Someone touched briefly on generational sin and how one guy broke the chain of sinning and the impact that had on his life and the life of the nation of Israel. The reason this hit me is that my family definitely has a problem with a generational sin. My dad got it from his dad who got it from his dad and it keeps going on and on. And since in my family I'm more like my dad than either of my brothers, it partially freaked me out and was partially accepted to me that I'd continue on this generational sin. That's just the way I'm made. But it doesn't have to be that way because I can be the Asa in my family. My brothers and I can be the ones to CHOOSE to break the trend. And yeah, it'll be hard, but what could be a better legacy to my kids than to be the barrier so they don't have to battle the same thing.

God has shown his grace to me today in that I don't have to sin this way. I have hope for my future for the first time in....a long time.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


I rarely just stop and feel the glory and majesty of God. This morning I started  reading Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper and the whole first chapter is about the glory of God. One of the best lines is "We're all starved for the glory of God, not self." The sun is shining after a morning of rain. It's beautiful. The trees, the mountains, the lake, I love the Pacific Northwest. (even though I hate rain)

Yesterday I turned in my application to join the Police Explorers. It half scares me. Many is it's my first step into potentially becoming a police officer and although it's exciting to me, it's also super scary. But I know it's what I really want to do. Second, I will be one of the oldest people in there, and the new kid. I always find that awkward. Especially when the person mentoring you is younger than you. hmmmm....Jesus may be teaching me humility. Third, I tend to be a person who does things right after practice. I have the discipline to sit down and practice over and over, but I don't do so hot at a trial run. And a lot of the Police Exlporers stuff is trial runs. So anyway I'm very excited about it and I think it's an awesome opportunity. I am just learning how to conquer fear.

Along with that, I think I might be getting sick. There's no good time to be sick. Especially when school is in full swing. So I have to motor on through homework and working nights...oh dear.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


I have been trapped.

Trapped in regret and bitterness. In needing to control things that are out of my control. I have been trapped by wanting to direct the path my life takes.

But now I have been set free. I'm taking my first few breaths as a free girl. They feel strange.

Now I can exhale for the first time in a long time.

And it feels good.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Radiant (Psalm 51)

I sought the Lord and he answered me
He delivered me from all my fears 
Taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man that takes refuge in Him.

Those who look to Him are radiant
Their faces are never covered in shame
So let the afflicted hear and rejoice
I will cry out! I will call out!

The righteous man has many troubles
But God delivers him from them all
Fear the Lord, you his saints
For He will redeem those who take refuge in Him.


O Lord, have mercy on me
According, to your unfailing love
According, to your great compassion
Blot out, my transgressions

Wash away my iniquity
Cleanse me from my sin
Wash away my iniquity
Cleanse me from my sin!

Against you, you only have I sinned
My sin is, always before me
Truly, I was sinful from my birth
I know you, desire truth

Cleanse me, and I will be clean
Wash me, and I will be white as snow
Let me feel, your joy and gladness
Let what, you have crushed rejoice!