Monday, May 31, 2010

Tell the ones that need to know/ we are headed north

I'm going on record for saying that I really don't care about school anymore. Yes, I have a ton left to do, but I don't care. I very much dislike that teachers save all the big projects and papers for the end of the quarter. One would think that if they were smart, they would get the big stuff out of the way first, when students are eager to do well and profs have time to grade well.

Hebrews 2 is all about the miracle of salvation and why Jesus worked as the ultimate sacrifice. He's also the ultimate comforter because he's been human and knows what it feels like to go through crappy situations. On the other hand, he also knows what it feels like to have a wonderful day. So having human experience under his belt makes it easier for me to understand that he gets my frustration and pain and happiness.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Begin: Hebrews

I decided that I'm going to start reading through Hebrews. This may not be a good idea as Pastor Mark is going through Luke and I've (occasionally) been listening to the sermon series through Ecclesiastes, but I haven't read Hebrews in a while, so I think I'll camp out for now.

I have 2.5 weeks left of school. In those 2.5 weeks, I have 3 papers,a group presentation, and several finals. I'm really not looking forward to these next few weeks. After finals crap is over with, I have to set up some academic advising appointments at CWU for next fall, talk with the Ellensburg PD and see if I can work with them in any way, and just start an overall de-stress from these last 2 death quarters. I have books to read, people's boyfriends to meet, a curriculum to set up, and a few Explorer events mixed in. Oh, can't forget the lunch dates that will happen now that Emily lives close and Mary is out of school. I've also started to get back into the running routine which is good, but painful. 

Talking about Hebrews, even the first chapter is "woah" material. It lays out some of Jesus' credentials. 
Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs.
 Daaaang. I mean, I'd be happy to be as cool as an angel, but Jesus is so much higher than the angels!?!?!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Today I want to see God's beauty in everything....

Although I had major traffic, I was only 5 minutes late to class.

The green of the trees surrounding campus is so vibrant.

I remembered everything I needed to bring today.

There are people in my life whom I care about very very deeply. And (in most cases) that feeling is returned.

I get to act for 2 hours.

"for in you my soul takes refuge, in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge."--Psalm 57:1

Monday, May 24, 2010

Life 5/24/10

Apple Cup was amazingly fun. My partner and I and another team from our post placed 2nd in one of the scenarios! I'm also ridiculously glad I didn't have to do the PT test because of my stupid shoulder. The post is an absolutely amazing group of people. Our Captain, the other girl, is awesome. I got to know her a little better and she's just amazing. That's all I can say. My partner, Tyler, put up with SO much and he's fantastic. I really don't know what I would have done without him. The other guys are pretty much the best, too. Ahhhh it was a great weekend.

In other news, I've really been slacking on spending time in my Biblia. I don't feel as whole or refreshed without it, but I just haven't found the time. This week I added time to run, so I need to re-add that time with Jesus. Somebody remind me about that slash bug me if I don't. Please.

Need to do homework that's due at 7:30am tomorrow.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Apple Cup

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I'm heading to the Explorer Apple Cup. Basically, we're participating in a ton of mock police scenes. We've been practicing quite a bit this week and last week, but I'm still so so nervous. I really want to go in, simply to have fun. But I'm sure THAT won't happen...I'm way too competitive.

So I'm not going to be posting on here or Facebook for the weekend. 0_o

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Changed By Jesus--Mars Hill's impact on my life

The Bellevue campus sent out a message to its attendees asking for stories of how Mars Hill has changed people's lives. I didn't intend to send anything in because I'm such a boring, blah, normal person. But I realized that many people probably don't send in their stories for the same reason. And yes, Mars Hill has radically changed my life, so I thought it'd be a good exercise for me to look at how--even if I don't end up sending it in.

I've grown up as a church kid. From a very early age I've heard about Jesus and how being good makes God happy. Even as a college sophomore, I've never had alcohol, never done drugs, never slept around, and never done "bad" things in general. I think my relationship with Jesus became real when I was a high school Sophomore, but I knew very little about His true character. Every day I fell into the "if I'm good, God will love me" lie and was overwhelmed by guilt and a sense of being trapped.

Two years ago my family started attending Mars Hill Eastside. Resisting change, I drug my feet and tried to make every Sunday as miserable as possible. I complained about the coffee, the music, and how no one talked to me. Last July I decided to try a community group. At first I was overwhelmed by the 14 guys and only 4 girls. However, for some reason I came back again and again. My cg leader has a story pretty similar to mine. He challenged me to step out of my initial "church kid" response to everything and to see a different Jesus than I was used to.

When I did, I discovered that I had a relationship with Jesus that was driven by a desire to do things instead of a fear for the consequences. I discovered a desire to serve that didn't come naturally before. I discovered that sharing Jesus with my friends doesn't have to be a theological can be a Facebook status. I learned about showing grace. I learned how to study my Bible. And last, but not least, I learned how to forgive the deep pain and anger from my past. 

My community group has been a huge influence on my life. Some of the people in that group make sure I don't fall back into the "church kid" pattern. My cg leader's wife is an amazing example of a godly woman and I have learned so much from just watching her. And through these people I'm seeing how to legitimately pray and live my life in view of the fact that it really IS all about Jesus..instead of just saying it is. I'm finally understanding what my youth pastor was saying when he said "being a Christian shouldn't be part of your biography: I'm a dancer, actor, Christian, and waitress. It should BE your biography."

I could go on and on about the preaching and how I've seen God work in miraculous ways in my life since I've come to Mars Hill, but it's really the people doing life with me that have changed everything.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Seeking Summer

I'm in the middle of my quarter. The majority of my friends are at school with me, but there are a ton of good friends who aren't. Those who aren't at BCC are done with school for the year. Pretty much all of them. Now I know they started earlier, I know that in my head. But it doesn't make it any easier when you're sitting on Facebook reading status updates and more than half of them are about how great it is to be out of school. What DOES help is when those friends take the time to ask how school is going for me, and not accepting a general/broad "it's ok."

You see, the sun is glorious. And it's shining outside my window. And its days like today that I marvel in the pure beauty of our great God. I can see tall, powerful evergreen trees. Delicate, lavender blossoms. Intense, clear sky. And I think about the cool, sea wind of the Seattle waterfront. And it's beautiful.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Running Just to Catch Myself

Alright, so I'm not going to rant. BUT, I got a C- on my first research paper in my class. I think I deserved a much higher grade for many reasons. One of them is that she never provided us with any kind of grading criteria. So how was I to know what she was looking for?

Tomorrow I'm going to talk with her and see if I can get more specific criterion for this next paper and also see if I can re-do the paper for credit. Dude. I'm an honors English student. I can write good papers. Ug.

In other news, I'm learning about peace...again. I'm still stressing about the competition next weekend. Officer G told our Captain to practice a lot with us, but with the honor guard taking priority. To be honest, I'd much rather spend time working mock scenes than drilling with the flags. So that verse "be anxious for nothing" keeps running through my head. EVERY morning I wake up nervous. EVERY afternoon I look at my uniform and my stomach turns.

be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God

On yet ANOTHER note, "Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope."  ~Josh Billings

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Humility. Respect.

Humility. I've talked about it before, but I'm learning about it in a whole new way.

I've been mentally struggling with the fact that out of the 5 people that showed up to practice for the 4 person honor guard, *I* was the one chosen as the alternate. I had my reasons for why I think I would be better, and I told a few close friends but you know, sometimes it's just good to be back-up...not always front and center. Today it turns out my dedication to the team--even though I was the alternate--has paid off and I'll be part of the legit honor guard. When I found out, I just got blown away by this. It's a huge evidence of God's grace and now I'm very excited.

Also, things are just different when you're on the bottom of the totem pole. These days in our society, people are so very casual. Especially in Seattle. But working in the PD, you have to be so so very respectful. When we're talking to someone of high rank, we have to stand at attention. When talking to any officer at all, it's always "yes sir" "no sir". Respect. And they definitely deserve the respect. Both our officer advisor and the lieutenant who helped us out today have been doing this for years and years and are amazing officers.

On a non-character related note, I'm having an awesome time working with the Explorers (RPDE). Every time we learn something new or run something, I keep thinking "yes, this is what I want to do with my life."

Sunday, May 9, 2010

"Live in a big, bold way....with humility"--Pastor Mark

This will be the struggle of my life.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Drill and Ceremony

Yesterday was just an average day, doing average things. I went to the shoe store to try to find new shoes for my Explorer uniform. While I was there, I got a call from our Explorer Chief. She wanted to know if I could make it over to the station that night for honor guard training. The post is doing the flag presentation for somebody in a few weeks, and they needed an alternate in case someone got sick. So I spent 2.5 hours learning drill and ceremony. It was an amazing time!

At first, I confess, I was bored. For the first half hour, we watched the primary team train. THEN, it was our turn! Amazing. That's the only way I can think of to describe it. Hard. That's the other word. We learned commands and techniques to present the rifles, march with the rifles, stand at attention with the rifles, shoulder the rifles, and a bunch of drill commands. Everything is so specific and sharp. I mean, when you turn 90 degrees, standing in place, it's a 2-step process. First, you pivot, then you snap your feet together. It's like that for everything. You do everything in steps and they all have to be very precise.

One of the girls from the Civil Air Patrol (who was training us) mentioned that I should join CAP because I was picking up D&C so quickly. I think it has to do with dance training. Just being very aware of every small movement that your body is making and doing things with careful precision.

Anyway, it was a great great experience. I mean, a whole day later I'm still going over different maneuvers in my head :) I'm SO glad I'm working with the Explorers. I'm still petrified of this competition that I'm going to in 2 weeks, but it'll be a great experience. I just need to get the Explorer/police mentality engrained in me, and then I think everything will come easier.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Blessings here, blessings there

blessings here, blessing there, God sends blessings everywhere!

Man, from having Janda again to my uniform pants "just happening" to be in stock at the store, God blesses me all over the place.

Tonight I half trained a new server at work and we just had a fantastic time. I don't know how to explain it, but I have this incredible peace about life that can't be shaken. Not even with the paper due at 7:30am tomorrow morning or the friends who aren't being friendly. What's weird to me is that I keep forgetting to spend time with Jesus. I know that sounds awful but it has somehow slipped out of my routine. And yet I'm still in love with Jesus--even though I'm not thinking about Him as often as I should be. And there's still that crazy peace blanketing my life. And I'm so thankful for it.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

May 2nd, 2010

  • extended night of worship
  • 3 year olds. seriously.
  • meeting Bellevue Police officers at Chipotle
  • community
  • being challenged in my complacency 
  • flowers from Caleb
  • grande skinny vanilla latte
  • Jessie 
  • hugs from Emily J without any explanation
  • realizing that compared to Jesus, I'm pretty pathetic
  • prayer
All evidences of God's grace in my life...all happened today.

Saturday, May 1, 2010


There is so much that can't be shared on here since this is public domain. Ugh. But I think over all, the word that describes my past week(end) is "don't". Don't get distracted. Don't get nervous. Don't let your temper flare. Don't back down. Don't rush. Don't despair. Don't forget to forgive. Don't spend money. Don't sleep. Don't put off reading my Bible.