There's a song that's inside of my soul

Last night I had a program where we watched a movie called Miss Representation. It's all about how women are portrayed in the media and what that's doing to their self-image. Now anyone that knows me knows that I fully believe that women are just as talented as men. However, I've been struggling with the whole concept of gender roles. People always say things like "only a tiny percentage of women are CEOs. We need to fix that." Do we? Really?

My Bible says that God made men and women different, but equal. When it talks about being different, it mentions how exemplary women (like the Proverbs 31 woman) are really good at keeping their homes in order. So I wonder if deep down, women desire to be with their kids and working at home? That's definitely not to say that they shouldn't be allowed to have jobs. On the contrary, I think that ladies who can work and take care of their homes are incredible. But I know that I'm so excited for the day that I can have a family. For when I will have my own house and husband to take care of. I have no desire to be a CEO. Even in law enforcement, I can see myself doing specialty teams like K-9 or working closely with domestic violence/sexual assault, but I wouldn't want to be high up in supervisory.


I don't know if I've shared this before, but the reason I want to be a police officer isn't that I want to prove how tough I am. The reason is that I see so many people hurting. Every day people are being hurt and I am so sick of not being able to do anything. I want to see justice. Volunteering as an advocate with a domestic violence and sexual assault group in town has been an eye-opening experience. I'll never forget the first sexual assault call (and only, actually) I went on. I met the professional advocate on-call at the hospital, heard the victim's story, and more than anything I was mad. I was mad that some person has such a low view of human life that he did this to someone. I was mad that I couldn't give the perp a piece of my mind. I was mad that no one who was there and saw what was going on decided to stop the situation. When I get really upset I usually express it by running or dancing. It was too late to go the gym so I spent about 10 minutes doing PT exercises.

That's just one experience. I don't know that victim. I have never seen them since that night. But I've heard stories. Oh, have I ever heard the stories. You know, you hear the stats that 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted in their lives which means that you probably know a victim, etc. I had no idea how true that was. Especially with my advocate training, people will tell me things they've never told anyone. It breaks my heart at how many of the perps are never brought to justice.

The same thing with domestic violence. I have heard SO many stories. Not only from the victims that I have helped through volunteering. My friends. My residents. Some of the nicest people, most godly women, most incredible ladies have gone through or seen terrible things. People ask me how a loving God could allow so many bad things to happen. I can only take heart in the fact that when Jesus comes back to reign and rule over our crappy and sinful world, he will get rid of Satan and he will bring ultimate justice.

I said I was going to post on passion, and this is it. I firmly believe that God gives everyone a deep rooted thing that they care about. One of my friends really loves mentally handicapped children. Another friend is fighting to end human trafficking.This is what I'm passionate about. This is what my best friends understand about me. This is what my residents/acquaintances try to comprehend. This is what my future man will have to "get". Because until you can fully comprehend the fact that I would do almost anything to help people, you'll never understand me as a person. I'll never know why, but the personality Jesus has given me is one that drives and pushes for excellence. When all the bad guys are caught, that's when I'll be content.

I'm doing a program about ending power-based violence (a.k.a. Green Dot) next week. One of my incredible residents, Nicole, is doing it with me. Nicole is a lady who has grown incredibly this year. She and I had a conversation mid-Fall quarter about being Christian in college. That conversation led to some very difficult things, at times we've both wanted to quit or give up. Now, she's thriving. She might not see it but I do. She is involved with church, talks with her mentors and peer-mentors, sees things more and more from Jesus' perspective, and is strong enough to stand up for herself. It's people like her that give me hope.

One more story and then I promise I'll be done. The other night I was dealt with an interesting situation. At the end, the person involved called me and sounded so happy. They literally sounded 10 pounds lighter. They told me "thank you SO much. I am so relieved and so happy to be out of that situation. I feel so good right now!" That makes it worth it.

P.S. I'm excited about graduation, but I'm SUPER excited to do this again: