Let that be enough

Tuesday craziness.

I'm still figuring out how to juggle all the classes and everything else. I certainly won't miss having class ALL DAY next quarter! Sometimes I feel like it would be nice just to slow down and catch my breath....but I know when I was not busy last year I was so bored. And I see every day as an opportunity--why waste it?

Next week will be WAY less crazy, and that'll be awesome. Today I really feel like I need to spend some time thinking through all the evidences of God's grace. So here's a list:

sun, ability to have my lines memorized, re-connecting with a friend, men, growing in friendships, ice cream sandwiches, safety as I drive every day, downtown Seattle, guide dog puppies, schedule items just clicking perfectly, homework being fun!, gusts of wind, working with Peter, my grey scarf, football, hot showers, long runs & feeling sore, singing, making breakthroughs on our scene, getting taxes done, FAFSA turning out better than expected

New Week!

Welcome to a new school week! This week I will have a lot of big things including at least one test and at least one big presentation. But today is just Monday and so I dance and act today.

My encouragement as I go into this week:

"My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven, He stands
No one can bid me thence depart!"

Ahhh Jesus loves me. If only I could remember that more.

Proverbs 31

I am thankful for the woman described in Proverbs 31. I was thinking today about a comment I heard recently regarding women and how if a man tries to lead in a relationship women consider it chauvinist. And that hit me hard because I know I'm a strong woman. I know I have opinions and plans and I'm driven. One of my mom's concerns for me has always been that I won't be able to let a man lead in my life.

I wrote earlier about how Deborah is one of my heroes because she was a mighty woman of faith. But the woman described in Proverbs 31 makes me super excited, too.

1. She works hard! She not only runs her household but also has a job! (vs 24)
2. She's smart! She uses her brain to make decisions (vs 16)
3. She is generous! Always willing to give from what she has (vs 20)
4. She is a strong woman! "Strength and dignity are her clothing" (vs 25)

Definitely someone for me to look up to. I just love the picture of how she's not just a low-key sweet girl who is weak and passive. Not to say that those kinds of women don't have amazing witnesses to everyone around them! I know some amazing women who aren't bold and straightforward. But it's possible to love Jesus and be a strong woman both at the same time.

Today's Evidences of God's Grace in my life:

SUN & SEATTLE. It's a glorious, sunny Seattle day. My whole family spent the morning in downtown Seattle and I can't get over how much I LOVE my city. Every time I see it, I attempt to look at it through the eyes of a visitor. The elegantly tall buildings backed by the shimmering Puget Sound. The height of the amazing Space Needle and the snow-dusted mountains in the distance. On this perfectly sky-blue afternoon, puffy white clouds floated across the sky. The hustle and bustle of the city life. It's a beautiful thing.

P.S.

Legacy

Tonight we continued our study in I Kings. One of the take-homes was God's incredible faithfulness to people (like us!) who sin over and over and over again and fully KNOW they're doing it.

The big thing that hit me was how the kings kept sinning and sinning like their fathers did. Someone touched briefly on generational sin and how one guy broke the chain of sinning and the impact that had on his life and the life of the nation of Israel. The reason this hit me is that my family definitely has a problem with a generational sin. My dad got it from his dad who got it from his dad and it keeps going on and on. And since in my family I'm more like my dad than either of my brothers, it partially freaked me out and was partially accepted to me that I'd continue on this generational sin. That's just the way I'm made. But it doesn't have to be that way because I can be the Asa in my family. My brothers and I can be the ones to CHOOSE to break the trend. And yeah, it'll be hard, but what could be a better legacy to my kids than to be the barrier so they don't have to battle the same thing.

God has shown his grace to me today in that I don't have to sin this way. I have hope for my future for the first time in....a long time.

Glorious

I rarely just stop and feel the glory and majesty of God. This morning I started  reading Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper and the whole first chapter is about the glory of God. One of the best lines is "We're all starved for the glory of God, not self." The sun is shining after a morning of rain. It's beautiful. The trees, the mountains, the lake, I love the Pacific Northwest. (even though I hate rain)

Yesterday I turned in my application to join the Police Explorers. It half scares me. Many reasons....one is it's my first step into potentially becoming a police officer and although it's exciting to me, it's also super scary. But I know it's what I really want to do. Second, I will be one of the oldest people in there, and the new kid. I always find that awkward. Especially when the person mentoring you is younger than you. hmmmm....Jesus may be teaching me humility. Third, I tend to be a person who does things right after practice. I have the discipline to sit down and practice over and over, but I don't do so hot at a trial run. And a lot of the Police Exlporers stuff is trial runs. So anyway I'm very excited about it and I think it's an awesome opportunity. I am just learning how to conquer fear.

Along with that, I think I might be getting sick. There's no good time to be sick. Especially when school is in full swing. So I have to motor on through homework and working nights...oh dear.

EXHALE

I have been trapped.

Trapped in regret and bitterness. In needing to control things that are out of my control. I have been trapped by wanting to direct the path my life takes.

But now I have been set free. I'm taking my first few breaths as a free girl. They feel strange.

Now I can exhale for the first time in a long time.

And it feels good.

Radiant (Psalm 51)

I sought the Lord and he answered me

He delivered me from all my fears 

Taste and see that the Lord is good!

Blessed is the man that takes refuge in Him.

Those who look to Him are radiant

Their faces are never covered in shame

So let the afflicted hear and rejoice

I will cry out! I will call out!

The righteous man has many troubles

But God delivers him from them all

Fear the Lord, you his saints

For He will redeem those who take refuge in Him.

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O Lord, have mercy on me

According, to your unfailing love

According, to your great compassion

Blot out, my transgressions

Wash away my iniquity

Cleanse me from my sin

Wash away my iniquity

Cleanse me from my sin!

Against you, you only have I sinned

My sin is, always before me

Truly, I was sinful from my birth

I know you, desire truth

Cleanse me, and I will be clean

Wash me, and I will be white as snow

Let me feel, your joy and gladness

Let what, you have crushed rejoice!