Lord, teach me to love

I am so far from loving people the way You do, Jesus. Show me how to be unselfish and how to rejoice when other rejoice. Show me how to see people and things in this world the way You see them. 

Lord, teach me to live

(Tell me she isn't adorable)

Last night the sermon at Mars Hill challenged me on a few levels. The first one is that right now is the time I need to be living for Jesus. Right now is when I should be investing in ministry and "pouring myself out" as Pastor Mark called it. When is a better time to learn from my non-Christian friends? 

At first, I thought "oh, I don't fall in to the trap of saying I'll do it later....I'm ALWAYS doing something!" But the relationship thing scares me. I don't know how to live in a way where I have an open heart to everyone, but can still stay strong in my own beliefs. 

Lord, teach me the difference between being a good influence and being annoying. Show me who you want me to befriend. Teach me how to live right now so that I don't waste this life. Teach me how to LIVE.

This made my day

(left by a boy at the restaurant last night)

LIVING it

Yesterday, after my post about unsuppressable joy, I had a miserable end of my shift at work. The other girl working (18 year old) hung out in the bar while her last table sat around. There were a million tables to be cleaned and re-set, the back line was a mess, I still had 4 tables, but instead of helping out she just cleaned her own tables and went in the bar. First of all, that's illegal. Second, it bugs the snot out of me when I have such a great work ethic and other people are so lazy. After I snapped at our bartender (which is totally out of character at work because #1 I love our bartender and #2 99% of the time I'm working I'm a perky kid) then I realized what I had posted earlier in the day and what I had read about suffering well. 

So no, I'm not being tortured for my faith or driven out of my home. I'm not suffering on even CLOSE to the level of some people. But working hard when everyone else slacks off is kind of a form of suffering, I think. So I had to apologize to our bartender and tried to embody that joy that I have because it's not all about my job or how well other people do their job. It's about how Jesus loves me enough that he gave me that job.

Plus I've always tried to do my job for Jesus and no one else. Yes, I want my employer and co-workers to see Jesus in me by the way I work, but in the end there are times when it'd be easy to do something that isn't right--but no one would know. Except God. 

Thank you, Jesus for that job.

Evidences of God's grace:

• $82 take home in tips last night
• being able to practice concepts I'm learning
• Friday and Saturday not doing ANYTHING except working!

Un-suppressable Joy

This morning I picked up my good friend Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper for my morning read. The chapter was all about JOY from Jesus. 


Isn't joy a funny thing? We all know we're supposed to have it. We all feel good when we DO. But as soon as life gets a little rough, at least my world collapses and I lose all the joy I once had. That just proves that I have my hope and attention based in the wrong things.

Jesus himself --and all that God is for us in him--is our great reward, nothing less....Forgiveness gets everything out of the way so [salvation] can happen. If this fellowship is not all-satisfying, there is no great salvation. (Piper, 35)

Indomitable joy does not mean that there is only joy. Was He divided, torn between joy and sorrow? Can an infinitely glorious soul be troubled? Yes, troubled, but not torn and disunited. Christ was complex, but he was not confused. There were divergent notes in the music of his soul but the result was a symphony. (Piper, 38)

So yes, there will be sadness. And confusion. And hurt. But with Jesus, we have a joy that surpasses it all. At least, when I remember that my hope is in Jesus--not popularity, not success, not comfort--there can be joy even through the hard stuff.

Through the agonies of Gethsemane and Golgotha, Jesus was sustained by indestructible joy. "For the joy that was set before him [he] endured the cross, despising its shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2 (Piper, 38)

Thank you, Mr. Piper for an inspiring morning.

To Sit in Solemn Silence

Today I planned my schedule for winter quarter. I think life's busy now? Just you wait till Spring 2010! It won't even be FUN crazy like it is this quarter.

Tonight I'm heading off to cg (yay!). Nothing puts me in a good mood like cg does!!!

I probably have more to talk about, but I'm kind of exhausted and need to write a paper. SO I'll leave you till tomorrow.

It was a

good day

now I'm

going to sleep

will post in

the afternoon