Friday, May 11, 2012

We found love in a hopeless place

Let's be honest. Life gets ahead of you sometimes. In trying to stay on top of everything, I'd lost sight of Jesus. That and I didn't care. Some people call it a "dry spell in your faith" but here's what it was for me. I knew God is awesome. I knew He was always around. I knew He was giving me everything I had. I prayed when I was thankful or needed something. But beyond that I didn't feel compelled to spend time with Him. 

It's like when you're working out every day and then you take a break. That one day turns into two, and since working out takes so much time you realize that you don't need to do it ALL the time. After all, you seem to be in decent shape when you're not a regular visitor. But then you start going back every day because you feel like crud, and the daily workouts feel so good and make you feel solid. That's where I'm at right now. Physically and spiritually.

Ask Jesus to work and He will. I have a list of things I've been convicted of. Want to hear them? Great. I'm glad you do. I need to work on: being a servant, changing my views of femininity, my tendency to jump to defensiveness, using my time well, watching what I say, and more. Pretty good list, I'd say. So far, I've seen tiny little baby steps of progress. 

Also, today my advisor/head of the department/public speaking professor pulled my 2 best Communication Major friends and I aside after class and asked us to help him in a seminar about public speaking. I was blown away. I took advanced public speaking with him, but didn't think I was near one of the top 3 speakers in the department. The other big blessing I got in the mail was a letter saying I'm a Dean's Scholar. Apparently, there are 34 students in the College of Arts and Humanities who qualify. I appreciate that God shows me He notices all the little things I do. 

I think the hardest thing on my list of convictions is the servanthood. It's about doing the extra work and not complaining. It's kind of integrity. Like when I go on duty and there is a week of old posters that haven't been taken down/put up--that's frustrating to me since it's the other RAs job to do that. But just fixing the problem with out whining to people afterwards....that's being a servant. Or talking the people that others seem to avoid. Or helping out wherever I can. It's tough because deep down I have a problem being "inconvenienced". But God is good in helping me change.

Evidences of God's Grace:
  • beautiful weather
  • the Japanese Garden
  • good people winning the ASCWU BOD election
  • raising $45 for an orphanage through our Pie Your RA program
  • class cancelled today
  • my computer is over 4 years old and still working
  • a wonderful chat with Nicole
  • seeing Kelsie even with her new job

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