While angels in His presence sang, until the courts of heaven rang

We've had a couple days of summer this week, and it's been really nice. The best part of this week has been re-connecting with so many people. I got to have a wonderful, Jesus-filled lunch with Miss Cortney, picnic'd with my favorite Brittney, spontaneously went downtown with Shannon (I love that I don't see her very often, but whenever I do, it's like we haven't ever been apart), visited the farmer's market with Heather, and yesterday I went downtown again with Jill and Shannon (oh yeah, Jill is back from India for 2 weeks. This is awesome).

I wasn't planning on blogging today, but I've been thinking. :) It all started this morning when I realized I don't really have anything to do, so I can go to a park and hang out with Jesus, my journal, and maybe the book we never finished reading. I realized I've never really sat down and gotten back into "quiet time" since I've been back. I also neglected finding a community of Christians to do life with because I didn't want to make friends and then move for a job. This excuse completely disappeared when Heather told me to come to their community group. Thus, I am going. 

Then, a friend posted this link on Facebook. The thinking continued. I've heard the modest talks a million times. I know in my head that wearing certain things is just not okay. But I rarely actually think about why. Why is it that even Christian ladies feel the need to show off their bodies? Why I wear certain things? I've always battled with the idea of what it means to find complete identity in Jesus. So maybe, indeed, we do what we know we shouldn't because we don't understand that Jesus is everything. I don't need to be attractive to guys...Jesus can fill that void. Now I just need to figure out how to put that thought into practice.

We've got each other and that's a lot for love--we'll give it a shot

For my interviewing class, I had to conduct an interview of someone and write up the interview into a narrative. There's this lovely and amazing woman in my life, her name is Jill, and she has been my bestest friend for......several years now. Right now, she's on a mission trip for many many months and will be traveling all across the world. So when I had to interview someone awesome, naturally I thought of her.

Here's Jill's story:

         Sex. To hundreds of young people across the world, sex trafficking is a daily reality. In our globalized world, it has become an even larger problem. People can order sex slaves online and have them delivered within a few short weeks (Not For Sale, 2009). Sex trafficking can be simply defined as people being coerced into submitting to exploitation—specifically sexual exploitation (iast.net, n.d.). The U.S. Department of State estimated that approximately 600,000 to 800,000 people are trafficked across U.S. borders each year (iast.net, n.d., para 8). This is just the number coming into the United States from abroad. Other estimates say as many as four million people are trafficked every year worldwide.

While on a mission trip to Haiti in 2010, Jill Bakke felt God’s calling to pursue missions. Jill attended University of the Nations, a Christian mission-focused university in Kona, Hawaii, to study photography. Injustices of many kinds frustrate Jill, and she decided to bring awareness to the problems across the world through photography. Unlike other mediums, photography puts a face on an issue. Instead of thinking that human trafficking is a problem somewhere far away, photography shows the pain in the women’s eyes and the poverty in which they live. Jill attributes her skill in photography to a gift that God has given her to use in a way that gives him glory—specifically by increasing awareness to these issues. She wishes that people in the United States realized how prevalent sex trafficking is—not only in other countries but in our own figurative backyard.

            Youth With A Mission and PhotogenX forms trips for students to travel around the world and make a difference through ministry. Jill’s group is comprised of eight women and two men—mostly in their early 20s. Complete strangers at the beginning of the trip, these ten people will visit Thailand, India, Egypt, Jordan, Kenya, South Africa, Israel, many countries in Europe, Argentina, and wrap up the trip in Hawaii. Through this journey, the entire team has grown closer together as they share the mission which drives them all—stopping the injustice.

            In Thailand, Jill visited a very small hill tribe to see how the people live, work with a ministry that provides supplies, and photograph what the team discovered. Trafficking can be a problem in this part of the country because the tribes are struck by poverty and need to find a way to pay for goods. Since the ministry has arrived in the village and provided help, the number of trafficking instances has decreased significantly. In this tight-knit community, Jill and her team found that even though they were living in poverty, tribe members were more than happy to share what they had with the visitors.

            Another incredible story came from her visit to Chiang Rai, Thailand. For a week, Jill spent time with a group of monk novices. She heard the stories of why the novices chose the lifestyle and from where they came. According to the head of the group, most of the young men were from the Burma and China areas. To escape the large amount of drug trafficking and avoid being forced into the trafficking lifestyle, parents would send their sons to become monks. After being part of the monkhood for 15 years, the men are allowed to become citizens of Thailand and embark on a lifestyle of their choice. One young man, Tarn, informed Jill that he left his home in China because he desired to have a family and respectable job. The Chinese government had forced Tarn’s father to fight against the drug traffickers, and that life did not appeal to Tarn. Jill explained one of the hardest things was seeing how a young man’s childhood was stripped from him simply because he did not want to live in a place where he could be shot, join the trafficking, or be forced to work in a dangerous government job.

            If people in the United States could know one thing about human trafficking, Jill wishes they knew that it happens everywhere. While most people think it does not exist around them, they have no idea that Seattle is second in the country for sex trafficking—Portland taking first place. This is not a problem that just happens in other places; it is something which affects people all around us. Informed people can help end the problem, and this group desires to start providing the information. To work towards this end, the team will be publishing their photographs at the end of the trip. In the past, publication was a book which compiled photos from all of the photographers. Additionally, Jill and most of her teammates have public blogs on which they publish stories and photos of what they encounter. Those who desire to learn more and become involved in the United States should visit the Not for Sale Campaign website.

            Since she began her trip in Thailand in April, Jill has encountered incredible experiences. She hopes that she can show people Jesus’ love while hearing and documenting their stories. Also, she has a passion for increasing awareness around the world. Her photographs are beautiful and accomplish her goal. As Jill’s work demonstrates, a picture can really be worth a thousand words. 

If you read through that whole thing, here's your reward: some of Jill's other work. Her photos are incredible. As I'm looking to getting my own apartment in the future, I've been trying to figure out which pictures I want to buy prints of to put on my walls....here are my finalists :)

And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

(James 1:5-6)

This is my verse of the day. I'm thrilled that I've been moving very quickly through the hiring process for a certain dispatch department. The department seems great, there's a Mars Hill and guide dog group in the area, there's a police department with a reserve program in the area, and I could work there. There is just so much that I don't know...and I will be relying heavily on wisdom from God to figure this thing out. I don't know why I'm so concerned, I haven't even been made a job offer yet...haha.

When it comes down to it, I find so much relief in the fact that I  don't have to rely on my own abilities and knowledge to make any decisions. If it was all and only up to me, I don't know how I'd survive. I was talking to one of my residents today about the future and I explained to her my viewpoint: I do the best I can, but in the end it's in God's hands. She said that makes sense, and I can't imagine what it would be like to not have that reassurance. I mean, the mind of a man may plan his way but the Lord directs his steps. No matter where I end up, I know it will be doors that God has opened. As my resident pointed out, who knows...the perfect guy [the guy God has waiting for me] might be wherever I get a job and then moving somewhere unknown would be all worth it. I thought that was cute. .......and maybe true, who knows. 

So that's my little thought gush for the day. 

Evidences of God's Grace:

• The fact that I made it to backgrounds in this testing process
• Having a 4-day Memorial Day weekend!
• Feeling so much more at peace about graduating
• ALmost finishing my Lit Review for my senior thesis
• Finding a modest and yet cute graduation dress
• Feeling humbled 
• Reminders of what it's like to be a godly woman
• E-mailing with Jill!!! (I love that girl)
• Talking to Caro on the phone...even though it was brief.

There's a song that's inside of my soul

Last night I had a program where we watched a movie called Miss Representation. It's all about how women are portrayed in the media and what that's doing to their self-image. Now anyone that knows me knows that I fully believe that women are just as talented as men. However, I've been struggling with the whole concept of gender roles. People always say things like "only a tiny percentage of women are CEOs. We need to fix that." Do we? Really?

My Bible says that God made men and women different, but equal. When it talks about being different, it mentions how exemplary women (like the Proverbs 31 woman) are really good at keeping their homes in order. So I wonder if deep down, women desire to be with their kids and working at home? That's definitely not to say that they shouldn't be allowed to have jobs. On the contrary, I think that ladies who can work and take care of their homes are incredible. But I know that I'm so excited for the day that I can have a family. For when I will have my own house and husband to take care of. I have no desire to be a CEO. Even in law enforcement, I can see myself doing specialty teams like K-9 or working closely with domestic violence/sexual assault, but I wouldn't want to be high up in supervisory.


I don't know if I've shared this before, but the reason I want to be a police officer isn't that I want to prove how tough I am. The reason is that I see so many people hurting. Every day people are being hurt and I am so sick of not being able to do anything. I want to see justice. Volunteering as an advocate with a domestic violence and sexual assault group in town has been an eye-opening experience. I'll never forget the first sexual assault call (and only, actually) I went on. I met the professional advocate on-call at the hospital, heard the victim's story, and more than anything I was mad. I was mad that some person has such a low view of human life that he did this to someone. I was mad that I couldn't give the perp a piece of my mind. I was mad that no one who was there and saw what was going on decided to stop the situation. When I get really upset I usually express it by running or dancing. It was too late to go the gym so I spent about 10 minutes doing PT exercises.

That's just one experience. I don't know that victim. I have never seen them since that night. But I've heard stories. Oh, have I ever heard the stories. You know, you hear the stats that 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted in their lives which means that you probably know a victim, etc. I had no idea how true that was. Especially with my advocate training, people will tell me things they've never told anyone. It breaks my heart at how many of the perps are never brought to justice.

The same thing with domestic violence. I have heard SO many stories. Not only from the victims that I have helped through volunteering. My friends. My residents. Some of the nicest people, most godly women, most incredible ladies have gone through or seen terrible things. People ask me how a loving God could allow so many bad things to happen. I can only take heart in the fact that when Jesus comes back to reign and rule over our crappy and sinful world, he will get rid of Satan and he will bring ultimate justice.

I said I was going to post on passion, and this is it. I firmly believe that God gives everyone a deep rooted thing that they care about. One of my friends really loves mentally handicapped children. Another friend is fighting to end human trafficking.This is what I'm passionate about. This is what my best friends understand about me. This is what my residents/acquaintances try to comprehend. This is what my future man will have to "get". Because until you can fully comprehend the fact that I would do almost anything to help people, you'll never understand me as a person. I'll never know why, but the personality Jesus has given me is one that drives and pushes for excellence. When all the bad guys are caught, that's when I'll be content.

I'm doing a program about ending power-based violence (a.k.a. Green Dot) next week. One of my incredible residents, Nicole, is doing it with me. Nicole is a lady who has grown incredibly this year. She and I had a conversation mid-Fall quarter about being Christian in college. That conversation led to some very difficult things, at times we've both wanted to quit or give up. Now, she's thriving. She might not see it but I do. She is involved with church, talks with her mentors and peer-mentors, sees things more and more from Jesus' perspective, and is strong enough to stand up for herself. It's people like her that give me hope.

One more story and then I promise I'll be done. The other night I was dealt with an interesting situation. At the end, the person involved called me and sounded so happy. They literally sounded 10 pounds lighter. They told me "thank you SO much. I am so relieved and so happy to be out of that situation. I feel so good right now!" That makes it worth it.

P.S. I'm excited about graduation, but I'm SUPER excited to do this again:

This one's for you and me livin' out our dreams

I forgot to post my picture yesterday...sorry! Yesterday's item was mail. And since I've been working on graduation announcements, it was perfect timing.

Yes. Those are Christmas stamps. When I was at my parent's house, I asked if they had any stamps and they did. Sure, they're the wrong season, but they're free! Speaking of mail, I got a letter in the mail from miss Cortney which just made my day. There are few things which make me feel as loved and appreciated as getting a letter via snail mail. 

Today was an interesting day. It's my slow day so I should have gotten a lot accomplished....well I kinda did. Tied up several RA loose ends that needed to be done. Worked a little on my paper. That's about it. But I love Wednesdays because I have a meeting with the leadership teams from all the residence halls and with my hall's leadership team. Usually my boss helps run our hall's meeting since we're both "advisors" but tonight he couldn't make it. So I got to have the "we need to be doing our jobs better" conversation without him. I think it went well....the rest of the meeting worked out. 

The funny thing about those conversations and the similar ones I have with residents about breaking policy is I always wonder how seriously they take the convo. I mean, most of the time I'm a joyful, smiley person.I don't see a point in being serious unless I need to be. My favorite thing from Jesus is joy. So I try to be nice. Even in confrontations I generally head towards the "I need to tell you this, but don't hate me" style. I can be the authoritative person....ask any Explorer or some of my ressies...I just choose not to be. Anyway, but when the ressies walk away from those conversations I'm always curious if they think it was a joke or if they realize that's my way of telling them nicely to cut it out.

Today's photo assignment was: someone who makes you happy.

I could pretty much open my door yell "I need somebody!" and pick any one of the people that comes flocking towards me.

Easy.

This is Kelsie. I picked her for so uber many reasons. She's one of my residents and I really can't remember how we first met outside of the mandatory meetings. It might have been during the leadership council meetings or when she came to church with me. ANYway, one of my favorite things about Kelsie is her laugh. She makes me giggle. I was upstairs in the SURC one day and could hear her laugh all the way in the dining area. And she's super cute. I like surrounding myself with beautiful people :)

But probably my favorite thing about Kelsie is her character. She loves Jesus and it's a beautiful thing. She is joyful, caring, trustworthy, hard-working, dedicated to excellence, has integrity, and is someone that I'm very excited to call a friend once she's no longer my ressie. The physical test for ROTC (which she's part of) is very similar to the police force so we trained together last quarter. There's just something about having her there that makes me want to do my best. We struggle with different areas, so she definitely pushes me beyond where I feel like I can go. When I tested for my last agency, I ran the 1.5 mile the very best I could to honor two people: Deputy C and Kelsie. She might be younger than me, but I've learned a lot from her. Also, she will be an RA next year. I am SO excited for her. I feel like we're very similar in some ways so she'll have all the best qualities that I brought to the position and more. She'll be that RA who all her girls adore and the guys respect. Anyway, I like this kid a lot. I eat with/workout/see her a lot and every time I always feel so good afterwards.

One last thing before I head off. I have to lose about....11 pounds to be able to test with State Patrol. It's probably time I got rid of the spring break chub anyway. I decided to really minimize starches for a while. So now I'm eating a lot of salads, steamed veggies and shrimp, smoothies, juice, fruit, salted nuts, straight protein, etc. I'm also trying to severely cut down on sugar. So far I'm doing well. already down a couple of pounds and it's been 2 days.

So there's my long post! :)

Evidences of God's Grace:

• beautiful weather
• talking to Jill before she left the country!
• letter from Cortney
• mini worship sesh before class
• a good workout
• sticking with my food limits today
• only having one class

The day before

Tomorrow at noon, my dad is picking me up for Thanksgiving break. YAY! Alex and Brittney left this afternoon, along with most of our podlings, I think. So Hollie and I decided to have dinner and watch a movie. It was funtastic. I love Hollie. She's like........well I don't know how to describe her, but she's awesome. She goes home on the weekends, so the entire time I've been here I haven't gotten to know her that well, but now that I am, I like what I know :)

It's just weird trying to pack to go back to my house and my empty room. This feels like home. And I know my empty room won't. But the plus side is that my extended family is coming over for Thanksgiving! YAY! And then I get to hang out with Jill. And I forgot the best part--MARS HILL ON SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a little excited :D

My goals for the week are to finish my reading and talk to Caroline. Because I miss her. And that's all folks! Next time I blog I'll be back on the hill!

Here I go again

Well hello. Sorry I've been gone so long--college is just THAT busy I guess!

I have to say that I love Ellensburg. I don't like some things about it, like that it's so small and that there really isn't anywhere to go shopping/there aren't a million Starbucks around, but I love the quaint college town feel. I love that you can drive from one side to the other in 5 minutes and that when it's snowing it looks like one of those perfect small towns in the movies.

Jill and Kirsten and Mary have all come to visit since the last time I posted. It's so funny to me because when I'm here, I feel like this is MY school. I've been here 2 months, and I feel like I've been here forever. Living in a dorm definitely has its downsides--including hearing EVERYTHING that goes on in the rooms around you. Sometimes it's hard because I would love to get to know people in other rooms, but I'm sooooo busy. But I've tried a little.

I've been on another ride with campus PD, and I'm going on another one after Thanksgiving break. Hopefully next quarter, when the work schedule changes, I'll be able to keep riding! The officers I've met are really great! We had some action on my last ride, and they just keep getting better :) Over winter break I'd love to ride with our officer advisor who was on maternity leave while I was in the post, and some of my TACs from Academy. Our advisor said the more departments I can ride with, the better....helps you get to know what you want to work with.

Classes are all pretty easy. I've written a million papers, but since writing has never been a problem for me, I don't mind. Next quarter I'll have more Law and Justice classes than Com classes, but I think that'll be fun! The only bummer is how crazy busy I'll be. But I found out that one of my friends from class this quarter will be in both my Com classes next quarter! Yay!

I'm definitely looking forward to having a break, though. Over Thanksgiving break, I'll have SO much to do! I'm going back on Weds afternoon/evening, Thursday we'll probably be at my grandma's, Friday I'm going Black Friday shopping with Jill (for my first time!), Sunday is church with Mary, seeing Em, and then Jill's for a fundraiser, and at some point I have to fit in editing a paper for a friend and going to Janda's raisers' house to show them what I have done for her scrapbook! Like I said, busy week!

I found a good church, and next quarter one of my podlings and I will be going to the campus ministry. Jesus has been so good, and is definitely working in my life. Especially in the little things like getting along with a co-worker I don't like. Someone once said pray that God will give you patience until he changes them, or that he will give them patience while he works on your heart. That's what I've been praying. I listen to the Mars Hill podcasts every day when I run, and they're just so good. And so convicting!

And now I am going to watch a movie and just enjoy being caught up in all my classes :)

Simon Says

raise your hand if you're leaving for school in 7 days! *hand shoots up* I had my last guide dog meeting today which was kind of sad. I mean, I know I'll be back for breaks but like Tracey said, life will never be the same again. So I keep getting more and more excited..especially as this is a real week of "lasts". Like tonight is the last Sunday night I'll be living in this house, sleeping in this bed.

But the evidence of God's grace I want to post about today is just my awesome friends. I have people in my life whom I know I can turn to about anything. I had a situation that really just sucks come up, and my tendency is to keep it to myself and hide the imperfections in my life. But I decided to reach out and tell Caroline about it, and I know that she cares. Jill is coming back soon (which means she'll be able to talk again and to come visit me at school!!!) and I've missed her lots. I'm taking a trip over to Eburg on Weds for a job interview, and Shannon and one of her friends will be coming along. And stuff like I have all these situations that come up that remind me of Explorers or Academy, and I can just text or message Jake and he always "gets" it. Not to mention that we've had some pretty great talks in general, too. Hannah is the nuttiest girl I know, but I absolutely adore the way she lives for Jesus in a down-to-earth way. This morning at church I was kind of feeling alone even though I was surrounded by people, and Emily J saw me, smiled, and waved, and a little while later Jill D poked me as I passed her in the communion line. I'm hanging out with Cortney for the first time in a LONG time, tomorrow and I can't wait to see her beautiful little face. She has this intensity and passion about life and living it well that I just adore. God has blessed me with some radically amazing people.

um...later

I haven't been that busy, and yet I find myself putting off the things I should be doing first. For instance, why is reading a spy novel and watching this week's episode of White Collar so much more important than sitting down and spending some time with Jesus? Answer= it's not. I think part of my problem is that when I'm watching a movie or reading a book, my brain gets to check out. When I'm hanging with friends, I'm just having fun. And spending time with Jesus is hard work because I'm always thinking. Still, I recognize that's not a good excuse, so I will push myself back into Exodus. (and don't tell me to read something else that I find more interesting, because Exodus has been one of the most interesting books I've read)

46 days till I leave for college. I am now Facebook friends with my roommate, and she seems normal enough :) No word on the job-front. I have an application to fill out for an on-campus job, but I don't want to be offered a job there before I get a chance to hear back from the other places I applied, so i'm going to wait a little while to turn it in.

I could keep blogging for hours about how much I miss Caroline and Jill, how sad I am that Jessie moved yesterday, and what the Explorer post is up to this week, but I think I'm going to actually sit down and read my Biblia.

And I'm just trying to love you, in any way that I can

Spent the evening with my little bro. He drives me NUTS sometimes, but he's still an okay kid and an ever-ready companion. For instance, I decided that my car was looking a little sad and dusty so it needed to be washed! Small was more than eager to help me wash it if it meant getting to play with the hose. Then we watched Pirates of the Caribbean (the last spelling bee I ever participated in, I got out because of the word Caribbean. I've been able to spell it fine ever since) and ate popcorn with butter on it--inspired by Jill.

Tomorrow will be a long, but hopefully fun, day. Making brownies in the morning followed by a meeting with Kirsten's new boyfriend, a walk with Nicole, and coffee with Jess...all in 5 hours. Then will be our last ever meeting as one big community group--so we're having a BBQ at Hannah's. After this week, we're splitting in half. Hugely sad, but I have confidence that God will grow each of our groups to be unique and a huge blessing to its community. I'm excited to see how we grow in these next 3 months.

Thinking of college, I found out my orientation date is July 28th. SUPER excited and a little nervous. At orientation I'll get to meet with academic advisors in both of my departments, get my picture taken for the ID card, and find out my dorm assignment. Afterwards, I'm planning on hunting down the local restaurants and finding out if they're hiring for the school year. If the Ellensburg PD gets back to me, I might have to meet with someone there to find out about volunteering, too. So like I said, super exciting but kind of nerve-wracking....hoping I get everything done that needs to get done, etc.

Oh, and I've been doing a little bit of reading these days. The first book I've gotten to dig in to is

I've started the book of James and have been trying a different approach with reading my Bible. I get a lot of application out of it, but it's easy for me to forget the "application" 3 weeks later. So I'm trying to read it just to get a better picture of Jesus and look more for the attributes of God. When I was in James 2, the section on partiality jumped out at me. The fact that we shouldn't pick favorites because someone is popular--that's in the Bible. Ugh. So convicting.

Second book I've been reading is

Yes, Radical Reformission by Mr. Driscoll. Last chapter I read was on how important it is to engage the culture without becoming just like it. What is frustrating to me is if you're living in a way that's relateable to the average person, why would they ask you about Jesus? I guess if you give Him glory for all the good in your life....but I've been a re-focused Christian for 2 years and no one has asked me about God. Fail.

Third book (and one I highly recommend if you like suspense/action novels) is

Separation of Power from Vince Flynn's collection of super amazing books. I don't want to give away too much plot, but they're political thrillers... plenty of assassinations and assassins involved.

That's a snippet for the day. Have a lovely Thursday y'all.